Units and Manuals
by DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympians
Summary: When Shelby accidentaly clicks a popup, a whole new life waits for her everyday on her front porch. Can she survive the randomness of her new units and her crazy friends and brother? Read and review to find out! Rated T formy own reasons.
1. Chapter 1

Units and Manuals

BEEPBEEP! BEEPBEEP! BEEPBEE- smack.

"Ugh… what time is it?" I rolled over and checked my alarm clock. It read 6:30 am. Great. I got up and trudged to my bathroom to get ready for my day.

I pulled on my work uniform: Whatever I want. I got lucky on that one, since I work at a daycare center with my best friend Liz.

Look, it pays well, and I get to be around little children (whom I love) and hang out with Liz.

Anyways, I quickly ate a bowl of cheerios and rushed out to my blue pickup truck, (hey, it was cheap) and drove off to daycare.

Maybe I should take some time to explain what I look like. I am 5' 5", and have long, wavy, brown, hair. I also have green eyes, which change colors to blue or hazel depending on the time of year. Hazel in the winter, blue in the summer, green in the fall and spring. Right now, they're blue. Oh yeah, and I'm 18, living by myself.

Several hours later, I pulled up into my driveway, parking my truck, and going inside to watch TV.

I switched on my dad's old collection of Batman DVDs, just when someone ran the doorbell. I sighed and got up.

I opened the door, half expecting the pizza guy, to find a dude in his mid- forties standing next to a 6 foot tall box with a white van in the background that said flying Mint Bunny Express with a picture of, well, flying mint bunny.

"Are you Shelby?" He asked me.

"Yeah, why?"

"Package for you."

"I can see that."

"Just sign here, please."

"Sure, sure."

"You'll also need this." The guy handed me a huge manual, then left.

"Um, thank you?" I dragged the box into the living room, plopped the manual on the couch, and called Lizzie for dinner.

"Wazzup?"

"Wanna come over for dinner?"

"Sure! What are you going to make?"

"Pasta!"

"Of course. I'll be over soon." Lizzie hung up and I headed into the kitchen and started to cook.

Now I should explain what Lizzie looks like. She's 5' 7", with medium length, curly, black, hair. She also has dark brown eyes, and is 19, a whole year older than me.

"OK, where's the pasta?" I asked myself. I felt a small box in my hand, so I assumed Lizzie was there. I rattled out what I needed, one at a time. "Sauce?" She handed me the container of sauce. "Cheese?" She handed me the parmesan. "Spoon?"

"Ve- which spoon?"

"You know which… spoon…" I turned around and saw a man with light brown hair and closed eyes grin at me. I did the natural thing:

"AAHHHHHH!" I screamed.

"AAHHHHHH!" He screamed.

"AAHHHHHH!" Lizzie screamed and charged through the door. She grabbed Les Miserables, and whacked the stranger with it, knocking him out.

"Is he dead?" I asked. She used the book, and poked the man with it. When he didn't respond, she repeatedly poked him.

"Ve-"

"AAHHHHHH!" We screamed again and ran into a closet.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again! Sorry for the wait, I was visiting Alfred's glasses for a wedding **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Shelby and her friends, although I share them with Seikatsuchan**

-In the closet-

"What are we going to do?" I wailed.

"I know exactly what to do."

"What?"

"TAKE SHELBY!" She yelled and pushed me out the door, right on top of the intruder.

"Ve- don't hurt me please! I'm just an innocent! Please don't hurt me I don't want to dieeeee!" He got down on his knees and begged. For some reason, I started to hum "Begging on your knees" from Victorious.

"Wait a minute." I mumbled. "Who are you?"

He sprang up and answered my question. "My name is Feliciano Vargas!"

Silence

"Shelby? Are you dead?"* Lizzie asked, still in the closet.

"No, but I think you should come out." I replied. The closet door creaked open, and she came out.

"No way." Her jaw hung open when she realized exactly who it was. "Where did you get this?"

"I dunn- ohhhh."

-Flashback-

I was working on building a website for the daycare (my dad's a computer genius) and I was really tired. I was putting the finishing touches on the homepage when an ad popped up for hetalia units.

I was about to click no, when my twin brother, Jason, snuck up behind me and grabbed my head, making me randomly click the mouse.

About my brother, he's 5" 5' (like me), and has brown hair (like me) that's normally styled in a Mohawk (definitely not me). He has blue eyes (like me right now), and is 18 (like me) living with his girlfriend. Did I mention he was my Siamese twin? Gets very annoying sometimes, but I get to do stuff and blame it on him. Mwahaha.

"Jason! What are you doing? Can't you see I'm working?"

"Hehe, about that, my girlfriend kicked me out again. Can I stay here?"

"Fine, but you're staying on the couch this time!"

-End flashback-

"So why did she kick him out?"

"Same reason as last time."

"Ohhhhh."

"So, Feliciano, can I call you Feli? My name is Shelby, and this is my best friend Lizzie." Then the front door burst open, reveling Julia.

She's 5"7', and has long, straight, red, hair. She has hazel eyes, and is 20. She lives in the house next mine. Not on the right, Lizzie lives there.

"And I'm Julia! By the way, he's so cute!" she fangirl screamed and tackle hugged him.

"Ve- don't hurt me!" Feli flailed around, trying to escape from Julia's iron grip. I sighed and pulled Julia away from him.

"NOOO! I must hug him longer!" Lizzie handed her a stuffed kitten. "Oohhh. So cute!"

"You know I worry about you sometimes."

"Yeah, I know."

"Welcome to this crazy life. Lizzie muttered.

"Hey, why are you here, Julia?" I asked.

"Well it was really important."

"What is it?"

"Weellll…"

-Fast forward: 20 minutes later-

"I got it!"

"What?"

"I forgot."

"Ugh!"

-Fast forward: 30 minutes later-

"I got it!"

"Finally!"

"Can I borrow some sugar?"

"That's all you needed?" I yelled. Then my scarlett aura formed around me.

"Oh crud. That's not good at all." Lizzie said. She then grabbed Feli and Julia and shoved them in the closet.

**A/N Well that concludes my second chapter. FWI, My friend Pandapple33 (Julia) wrote that whole scene from her entry to the closet part. While I finish my homework and (hopefully) update tomarrow, review? Review and I'll post the paragraphs my other friend (who will come later) wrote. She tried to kill off Julia in most of them. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N On with chapter 3! Yesh. Now Allons-y to the story!**

-In the closet-

"Ve- why are we in here?" Feli asked.

"When Shelby is in her evil mood you don't want to mess with her." Lizzie said. "OK, she wants Julia, so…" she then grabbed the white flag Feli was holding. "Here, take it."

"What? Why…" Was all Julia could say before Lizzie shoved her out the door and locked it.

"Oh, hello Julia." I said evilly. The next 2 seconds were filled with Julia's screams. "OK, you guys can come out now." I said. They came out and found Julia on the floor, twitching.

"Ve- is she OK?" feli asked, concerned.

"No, no she's not." I replied, ginning and clasping my hands. "But she'll live."

"So, are you done yet?"

"Yup."

"Ugh…" Julia mumbled. "I see a bright light, it's coming toward me. Body failing. Mother, is that you?"

I rolled my eyes. "One, your mother is still alive, and two, stop being so dramatic."

"Meh. Well, I gotta go!" Julia sang and skipped out the door.

"Well Feli, we have to get you a room. Tell you what, there's a room at the end of the hall to the left." I instructed.

"Ve- thank you!" He ran out of the room. Lizzie and I decided to finish cooking, just when Julia popped back in through the door.

"What so you want this time?"

"My house is being fumigated. Can I stay here?"

"Sure, but you get the couch."

"Cool, what's for dinner?"

Feli came downstairs and then screamed "Pasta!"

"Then Julia screamed "Pasta!" and ran around the living room with Feli screaming PASTA!

"Alright! We'll have pasta. We were already making it. Just quit your screaming!" Lizzie yelled.

Julia and Feli screamed "Yeah!" and ran into the kitchen. Lizzie and I shrugged and joined in.

"PASTA!"

**A/N End chapter 3. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N OK people, im getting back on track! I'm thinking of taking a break from this for a bit, but ill update. It's going to be a Doctor Who Hetalia crossover starring Shelby, Lizzie, the tenth, and everyone's favorite countries! If you want to read it, R & R!**

DIING DONG! Smack. DING DONG! Smack. DING DONG!

"Grr! Why won't this stupid alarm clock work?"

DING DONG!

"Oh, it's the doorbell. COMING!" I ran down the stairs to the door where I found the same dude as yesterday with another big box.

"You have another unit."

"I can see that."

"Look, I'm just doing my job. Sign here."

"Whatev." I pulled the box inside and put the manual on the coffee table.

"Mornin!" Julia yawned. "I need something else." She looked at me hopefully. My eye twitched and I screamed at her with a British accent.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT? YOU ALWAYS NEED SOMETHING!"

"I just needed the remote. My show's on." Julia stuck out her tongue. Then I heard the box behind me explode.

"IGGY!"

"AAHHHHHH!" Julia and I screamed and ran for the (yup, you guessed it) closet.

Then Feli came downstairs. "Ve- what's with all the noise? Uh… oh Alfred! When did you get here?"

Julia and I came out of the closet with confused looks on our faces. "Uh? What?" I asked. Then Lizzie came downstairs and into the living room. Heh, forgot she was sleeping over.

"What the heck are you guys screaming about?" Lizzie said. Then she looked at Alfred. "AH! Stranger danger!" Then she grabbed the nearest thing closest to her… which was (again) Les Miserables, and threw it at the 'stranger' and retrieved it after it made a satisfying knot in his head. "Take that you weirdo." Lizzie said with a satisfied smirk.

"Uh Lizzie? That was another one of Shelby's units." Julia commented.

"Really? Oh well."

"Uh…" Everyone looked at the new unit, who was still unconscious.

"I can fix this." I assured, and switched on Dad's batman shows. (I recognized him.) When the theme song started to play, he sprang up and leapt onto the couch.

Frankly I would tell you that I scoffed and mentally laughed at his childish behavior, but hey, I love batman, so I joined him, and gestured for everyone else to do the same.

"By the way, I'm Shelby, that's Julia, and the one with the French emo book about death and despair is Lizzie." I told him. "I swear, the only thing that book is good for is a bullet proof shield or an invincible weapon." I muttered under my breath.

"And I'm Alfred F. Jones! But you can call me the Hero!"

"We know."

Julia shut on the lights and came over to the couch that was crowded with people. So, with no room to sit, she sat randomly on someone, and that someone was Feli.

"Ve- someone is on me." He said.

"Shhh!" Everyone said. Minus Feli.

"But! Someone is on me and I don't know who it is! They could be trying to kill me! And…" BANG! He was shut up by Les Miz.

"There! Problem solved." Lizzie said with a winning smirk.

"LIZZIE!" I screamed. "What did you do that for?"

"He was complaining and I didn't want to listen to it so I shut him up." Lizzie said in a 'duh' voice. "Got a problem with it?" She said, then held up the book menacingly.

Terrified, everyone was quiet and continued watching the show, while Feli was dreaming about pasta in a faraway dreamland.

"Guess this meand I finally have a use for the big couch in the basement." I mused. "Oh yeah, that reminds me, you need a room."

"Yes I do. Here, I made a list of things that the hero need." Alfred aid. Then he pulled out a paper with a bunch of squiggles on it. "OK, I need my room to be big, with its own mini fridge, and it has to have a view of the street. Oh, and a panda bear as well. It needs to have a lock and a chair and also a" BANG! Alfred fell to the floor.

"Thanks for letting me use Les Miz, Liz." I said. Heh, knocking out people is fun.

"No problem, I would have done it myself." She replied.

"Hey Jules, do you mind grabbing his stuff? Liz and I are gonna drag him to a spare room."

"No prob."

**A/N That's chapter 4 over. I'm sorry about the whole chapter 3 is chapter 1 thing. I was Russian. (pun intended) And yeah, remember when I said the thing about the paragraphs? I lied. I don't have them. In the next chapter, there will be a hint of USUK, but only that one hint. Probably. But maybe I will post some UKxReader oneshots. It's called "A cup of tea can fix a broken heart." Look for it. Not now, but when I have writers block.**

**Ciao for now! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N This is just a totally random chapter that Pandapple33 wrote then e-mailed to me! I just this was so funny, and I had to post it. Enjoy!**

Lizzie: *hits someone with Les Miz* I live how this thing comes in handy so often.

Shelby: I know!

Julia: Oh can I have the big strong book that hurts people?

Everyone except Julia: NO!

Julia: Pfft! You people have no faith in me. *Crosses arms* Doesn't anyone belive me!

Shelby: Nope.

Lizzie: Heck no.

Feli: No I want to live.

Alfred: No! There, the hero has spoken!

Lizzie: No one cares.

Alfred: What? People care!

Shelby and Julia: No they don't.

Alfred: *mumbling* demon girls…

Shelby, Lizzie and Julia: *Dark auras* WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Lizzie: On second thought, here Julia, have the book.

Julia: *evil smile*

Alfred: Oohhhh crud.

*BANG!*

**A/N So how was it? Love it? Hate it? Rate it! If you want, I'll also post a totally random text conversation me and Seikatsuchan had. **

**Pasta la Vista babeh!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N So here's what happens after the girls carry Alfred upstairs. Entrevous Canadia!**

"Uh… Where am I?" Alfred said. He looked around and noticed he was in a room. Me, Lizzie and Julia were in the room too. "What's going on?" He said. "And where's my panda bear? And my giant bed? And my chair?"

"You got a bed and a nightstand." Julia said.

"But it's really dark in here!" noticing the drawn shades.

"Do you want a night light?" Julia asked in a baby voice. "We have a teacup and a rocket ship. Which one do you want?"

"Teacup." Alfred mumbled.

"What?" Julia said.

"I said I want the rocket ship!" He replied, annoyed.

"Well it's 10:00 in the morning, and we're going to McDonalds before the stop selling breakfast." I lied, figuring it would get him up. Needless to say, it worked.

He was downstairs and ready to go in 30 seconds, where Feli and another big box were waiting.

"Ve- should we open it?"

"Nah, we're going out for a breakfast fit for the hero!" Alfred proclaimed.

"Ve- where?" Before I could reply to say no, we weren't, Allysa barged inside jamming to 'Poker Face' on her ipod, singing roght out loud.

Allysa is 5" 4', and has long, straight, blonde, hair. She also has blue eyes and wears glasses. Also, she's 28, like me.

"Can't read my, can't read me, no he can't read my poker face! She ain't got no one nobody. Po-po-po-poker face po-po-poker face!"

"You know my brother's dating her, right?" Alfred informed us.

"Really?" Julia asked sarcastically.

"Yeah." At that, the box exploded, and a guy that looked just like Alfred (but had a polar bear) shouted

"For the last time, I AM NOT DATING LADY GAGA!"

"AAHHHHHH!" We all screamed, and ran into the closet.

**A/N OK, it's short, I know. I try to stop at every time skip. Leaves a good cliffhanger. But I have a problem. Why don't I have more than 4 reviewers? What do I have to do? Add swears? Yaoi? OK, maybe no that, but if enough people ask for that in a review, there'll be yaoi. Thank you to my friends and faithful reader/reviewers for keeping this story alive. I couldn't have done it without you. Oh yeah, and I really don't like saying this before every chapter, so I'm gonna say it now, and hopefully Lollidictator won't kill me. I DON'T OWN THE HETALIA UNITS OF HETALIA! There, I said it.**

**Hasta la Pasta!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thank you to the awesome people who reviewed my story. Thank you so much. Also, I know you guys could just stop reading right now, and go read something better, but you stay here on your own free will, and I love you guys for that! Free cookies for everyone! Anyways, enjoy chapter seven! *:-) Look! I made a Finland! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Just my little group of girls and one guy**

-In the closet-

"I'm going to need a bigger closet." I observed.

"What makes you say that?" Julia asked.

"Well for one thing, I'm stuck between a mop and a country, and for another thing another country is squeezing me half to death!" I referred to Alfred, who was squashed next to me, humming the batman theme song, and Feli, who was hugging me, and also very freaked out.

"We have to figure out who's out there." Lizzie pointed out, then pointed to Alfred. "Alfred! Thanks for volunteering!" She shoved him out the door.

"No! don't leave me out here with the- oh! Hi Mattie! Didn't see you there! How you been?"

"I've been pretty good. But seriously, I'm not dating Lady Gaga."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Matthew Williams! Your owner! The hand that feeds you!" At that, I opened the closet door and let everyone out.

"Oh! Hi dere!" Julia said to Alfred's twin.

"Y-you can see me?" He asked, obviously very surprised.

"How could we not? You're obviously here." I pointed out.

"I'm so happy!" He was positively ecstatic.

"Who are you?" The little polar bear asked us.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that. I'm Shelby, the owner of the house, that's Lizzie, who will hit you with a French book about death if you misbehave, that's Julia, my clueless friend who goes otaku at times, and the one that's completely oblivious to everything because she's on her ipod is Allysa. She woke you up. I think you the rest of our little gang." I explained. I have to say, he took it pretty well.

"I-I'm Matthew Williams. Please don't hit me. And the little polar bear is Kumamucho."

Alfred cut in. "Hey Mattie, want to come to breakfast? We're going to McDolanlds!" Alfred cheered.

"About that, I lied. I just wanted you to get out of bed."

"NOOOOOO! Why did you lie to me? I thought we has something special!" He wailed.

"Uh, no. I just met you." I told him. "So stop being such a drama queen."

"But I'm a dude!" He protested.

"Exactly!"

"So what are we going to do?" Lizzie asked.

"Well, I could make some pancakes." Matthew suggested.

"Yay!" All four of us cheered. (That's the girls)

"Wait, why are we cheering?" Allysa asked, confused. (she finally pulled out her earbuds.)

"Because Mattie's gonna make us pancakes!"

"Oh, then YAY!"

"Oh yeah, then Mattie, you're going to stay in the room upstairs to the right. K?" Parson my big house. My great ancestor built it back when the stuff cost waaaayy less then it does now.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

**A/N Yesh! All done! I'm so happy! And to those who are hating this story, (but why you would hate it is unimaginable (rhetorical question)) You don't have to read ****. And to those of you loving it, review! I just made internet waffles.**

**Do you like waffles? Yeah we like waffles.**

**Do you like pancakes? Yeah we like pancakes!**

**So you like French toast? Yeah we like French toast.**

**Dodododo can't wait to get a mouthful.**

**Dosvedanya my faithful readers!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N I'm ba-ack! Sorry to keep you guys waiting, algebra's been catching up. =.=' I mean seriously, when are we ever going to use 24(65x – 72) +x = 92? Rhetorical question. One more thing before I start the story: Haters gonna hate. Russia hates haters. Russia kills haters. Haters run from Russia. I got that from a friend. ^-^ Also, no school 4 me 2day! Suckas.**

"Mhis ms m mommd manmake." Julia stated with her mouth full.

"What?" I asked.

"I said this is a dood pancake."

"Ahh."

"Can I have some more? These are the best pancakes ever!" Lizzie asked, holding out her plate.

"Welll, there's no more." Matthew said. Staring at the empty pan. "We ran out of batter.

"Awwww."

I checked my watch, and did a double take. "Oh god! Lizzie, we're late for work!" I shouted.

"But it's Sunday! Isn't that like, the lord's day for rest?"

"That was the old days when cavemen watched black and white TV and hunted sabertooth tigers. And we have to work on Sunday! Some people don't take their kids to church."

"Oh." Lizzie and I jumped up, and grabbed their stuff.

"Mattie, you're in charge!"

"What? Why me?"

"Because I really don't think that Julia," I jerked my thumb at Julia who was humming MaruKaite Chikuu, Hattefutte Parade, and Buono! Tomato, "Allysa," I pointed to allysa, who was on her ipod, "Feli," I gestured to said country who was trying to set the cooking timer on the radio, "or your brother" I nooded to Alfred, who had switched on Batman,, "can keep the house from burning down."

"Oh."

"And yes, it almost happened. Long story, don't have time to talk, gotta go, bye!" Lizzie and I called and rushed out the door.

"Um, bye."

**A/N KYAAAA! That was too short! Well, I thought it was a good place to stop. 'Sides, I'm really busy nowadays. (Wow, medieval words!) And I just made 2 batches of brownies. Reviewers get one! ^-^**

**Doctor out. Peace!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Another short chapter. Oh well. They have to be longer, but I prewrote this, and I am now stopping at each time skip and closet scene. Anyway, this is what happens when Shelby gets home. DUNDUNDUNNNNNNN!**

"HEELLLP! HEELLLP MEEE!"

That was my greeting when I got home. Lizzie went to her house to take care of her poodle, Sunny, so I was on my own.

"Whoa! What happened?" I grabbed Feli as he ran by.

"Ve- Matthew went into Manada mode when he started watching ice hockey! Now he's chasing Julia around the house!" Feli ran away to the closet, (where Alfred just happened to be,) leaving me with to take care of the Manada Mattie. Huh, Manada Mattie. That's kinda funny.

Just before the closet door shut, Julia zoomed inside, followed by a really ticked off Mattie.

"HAHAHAHA! Just try to escape me! EH?" Mattie screamed, and banged on the closet door until I grabbed him, and slapped him, snapping him out of it.

"Thanks." He said, rubbing his cheek. " I needed that."

"You sure did! What was that all about? Never mind, I don't want to know. Hey, where's Allysa? Did she go home?" I scanned the room, looking for my friend.

"Yes. She left just before I turned on the hockey channel."

"K. Thanks." I told him before stomping over to the door, and forcibly opening it. "HEY!" I yelled to the closet inhabitants. "It's safe to come out."

"Yay. Thanks Shelly!" Julia hugged me.

"Don't call me that." I grumbled. "As id Shelbalinabeth wasn't bad enough."

"But it was a cute name! Besides, you know you love the nicknames I give you." She said slyly.

"Alright. Now bed. Now." I got some complaints, but everyone went willingly, shouting g'nite over their shoulders.

"Good night." I said back, and went to bed. Tomorrow was the Yankees/Red Sox game. I just had to watch it. Red Sox forever, yesh.

**A/N Short, right? Ah, well. And yes, I typed Shelbalinabeth. I thought it was cute. :3 Stay tuned faithful readers! *gives everyone internet pasta***

**I'll be Beethoven!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Yay! I'm updating! Also, I wanted to give a shoutout to Blarney-Imp, who has read every single scrap of Fanfiction that I've written so far. Enjoy all you awesome persons!**

"HEY!

" Lizzie barged into the house the next day around 5 screaming "Time to watch baseball! Now come on! Oh yeah, and Shel, you got another delivery." We were all bored, so we went along with it happily.

"Who's the unit?" Julia asked eagerly. BTW, her house is still being fumigated.

"No clue. BASEBALL TIME!"

A cheer erupted from everyone, including Mattie, who was normally quiet. We then proceeded to cram onto the tiny couch, 'cause I was too lazy to bring the big one upstairs. We all ignored the wooden box in the background.

It was the Yankees/Red Sox game we've all been waiting for. Yesh. Just as the Star Spangled Banner came on, starting the game, the box erupted behind us.

"TURN THAT RACKET DOWN!" It screeched.

"AAHHHHHH!"

We all screamed and ran into the closet. 3 units and 3 girls. It's going to be a tight fit.

**A/N Yes it's short. I know. Oh well, that just means more chapters, and a lot of closet scenes and time skips. Au revoir mes amis!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Wow. I'm updating really fast.**

**Shelby: You got that right, sister.**

**Lizzie: Why are we in the closet again? It's weird.**

**Julia: Becu- use, it's fun! ^-^**

**Lizzie: Meh.**

**Feli: Ve- we don't own Hetalia or the story idea. Or any of the movies and TV shows that are referenced. Just the pasta!**

**Alfred: And the hamburgers!**

**Shelby: Will you shut up?**

**Julia: Yeah, I wanna see what happens next! And it's a long chapter.**

**Everyone: Finally!**

"I'm definitely gonna need a bigger closet." I commented.

"We also have to stop going to the closet. It's kinda odd." Julia pointed out.

"But it's fun!"

"Well yeah, but I'm squished!" Lizzie complained.

"JAMAIS*" I shouted.

"You know French?" Mattie asked.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Matthew!"

"No, I don't know French. I just happen to have a Spanish teacher who's 100% French. Besides, I watch a lot of TV. You pick some things up." I explained.

"How's that possible? I mean, the teacher thing."

"I don't know." I said in a Gir voice.

"Well I'm fed up with this! We need to stop running in here! I'm leaving." Lizzie stormed out of the closet, bumping right into the unit.

"Gak!"

It backed up a bit. "Terribly sorry about that, that song is just plain annoying. I'm Arthur Kirkland by the way."

Lizzie smiled. "It's perfectly fine. I'm Lizzie. Sorry about that whole closet thing, it's just what we do."

Lizzie turned around, shouting for everyone to get their butts out of the closet.

"Why?" We all chorused.

"Because, Arthur joined the party." She stood back as Alfred bounded out the door, and hugged the Brit.

"IGGY! Hey, British dude, it's me!"

("Iggy? Where?" Julia's head shot up, looking for the character from Maximum Ride. I patted her shoulder.

"Sorry Jules, no blind guys with wings who can cook here."

"Awww.")

"Yes, it's you. And don't call me that!" Arthur groaned.

"Make me!"

"Shut up!" Liz called, just to stop an inevitable argument.

"Why?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Cuz. I'm hungry. Now what's for food." She tried to delay an argument, but instead, started a new one.

"Ve- what are we going to have? I hope it's pasta!" Feli cheered.

"Well I could make something." Arthur offered.

"No!" (Cue Arthur going into personal emo corner.)

"How about McDonalds?"

"Yes!" I said.

"No!" Arthur cried. Guess he's out of his emo corner.

"Maybe. But not right now!" Lizzie finished the Toy Story 3 quote.

"How about pasta?" Julia offered again. "I liked that idea."

"YAY!" Feli cheered.

"Sounds good." Lizzie agreed.

"Then it's decided. Pasta it is!" I shouted as Feli scampered to the kitchen.

"YAY!"

"Oh yeah, uno more thingo. Arthur, you're going to stay in the room upstairs, down the hall, to the left, next to the door all the way down."

"Thank you." Then, remembering the whole thing with the introducing, I introduced everyone. l

"Ok, Feli's making dinner, so I have nothing to do. Not to mention that the game got cancelled due to the newest houseguest. So I guess I'll watch something else." I muttered to myself. Only everyone could hear me.

"Whataya gonna watch?" Julia asked.

"Only the greatest show known to the universe and beyond!" I cried.

"Batman?" Alfred guessed.

"No." I frowned. How is batman the greatest show known to the universe and beyond? Sure it's entertaining, but no.

"Superman?"

"No. Here's a hint. It's not American." Lizzie smirked. "I don't watch American TV."

"You betray your country!" Alfred whined.

"Shut up."

"Then what is it?" Julia asked.

"Doctor Who!" I squealed. Yes, I squealed. That is how much of a fangirl I am.

"Oh, that guy." Arthur grumbled.

"What? You don't like the Doctor? GASP!" I gasped.

"No! How do you expect me to like a guy, who whenever shows up, wrecks my house?"

"Well, he doesn't wreck your house all the time. Just most of the time. The rest of the time he's in America, or space, or Germany, Let's kill Hitler was a fun episode. Then he was in Italy a few times. I still can't believe he started the Great Fire of Rome, and caused Mount Vesuvious to erupt! An another time…" Lizzie rambled, but was cut off.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. He went everywhere. It's just most of the time that bugs me. Wherever he goes, trouble follows."

"Bu trouble's always there! The Doctor just stops it from getting worse. You should be glad he's there. Without the Doctor, the planet would've exploded by now! There was an episode for that. Turn Left. It was awesome! Buckingham palace exploded, England was a mess, the ATMOS thing went out of control, it was amazing." I told him.

"That's what he says. Minus the rambly part."

"But it's true!"

"Bah."

I quickly checked my watch to see the time. I gasped when I saw the time. "Mein Gott! Son las ocho! Merdaerdamerdamerda!"

"Wazzamadder?" Jules asked. "And what's with the language switch every sentence? You only do that when something's up."

"Oh nothing, it's just normally the time Jason calls to see if he can stay over because his stupid girlfriend kicked him out for some reason." Just then, the phone rang. I picked it up, and sure enough, it was Jason.

"Hey dude." I said coolly, ignoring Arthur's comments on how butchered up the English language was in America.

"Hey. Um, can I-"

"Sleep over because your stupid girlfriend kicked you out?"

"Steph is not stupid!"

"Sure, sure."

"And yeah, can I stay over?" Jason put on his best puppy dog voice.

Nyet! Non! Nein! No! "Sure."

"Thanks. I'll be over soon." He hung up, and I took a breath, then ran through the house screaming.

"THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE SOMING!" I screamed. Arthur scowled at me.

"I take offense to that. I just got here! Have some respect."

"Not you British. My brother British!"

"He's British?"

"NO!"

"I'm confused."

"My brother's coming, and now I'm freaking out, man!"

"Ve~ why?"

"Have you met her brother?" Lizzie asked. "Wait, don't answer that."

"What's so bad about your brother?" Mattie asked.

"What's so bad about him? WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT HIM? I'll tell you what's so bad about him." DING DONG! "I gotta hide" I ran out of the room, and hid in mine. But I left the door open to hear what's going on. This is roughly what I heard.

Door opens.

Alfred: Hey dude! What's- Shelby? Didn't you just run upstairs?

Arthur: you changed too.

Jason: Um, what are you talking about?

Mattie: Fake voice too. You really sound like a guy.

Jason: I am a guy.

Lizzie: *scoff* Yeah right.

Jason: Why do I even bother? SHELBY! Come downstairs and say hi to your brother!

Crud.

I gingerly came down the steps and stood beside Jason. I mentally smirked at my units expressions, and watched their heads go from Jason, to me, and back to Jason.

Exact same height, exact same face, (almost) exact same everything. Except gender. That would be weird.

"Guess I'm not the only one with a twin." Mattie mused.

"No, no you're not. You haven't met my Siamese twin yet." Lizzie commented.

"Oh yeah, how is Ari?" Jason asked.

"Still at boarding school."

"Where? I forgot."

"An uncharted UN island that no one really knows about where they train people to be invincible weapons against the world." Lizzie said. But she couldn't really hide the smirk that came when three units paled and Feli 'Ve~'d in confusion.

"Right. So where am I staying?" Jason asked. "I'm beat."

"Couch." I said, pointing to the tiny piece of furniture.

"Again? Why?"

"You bug everyone."

"Meh."

**A/N Me: Wow that was long.**

**Shelby: Yeah. It really was.**

**Jason: I can't believe that I missed the game.**

**Lizzie: Get over it.**

**Me: Yeah, like, I have to go to this outdoor haunted house thing called the Haunted Graveyard with my neighborhood. I hate that place!**

**Alfred: The hero will protect you! Those ghosts and ghouls can't hurt you with me around! HAHAHA!**

**Me: Last year, it was kinda funny at one point, 'cause they had to stop the line 'cause there was no power in the butcher house.**

**Alfred: T-t-the butcher house?**

**Everyone: *facepalm***


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Me: Hello again! I survived the haunted graveyard!**

**Alfred: S-so did I.**

**Shelby: Pu-lease. You almost wet your pants before the doors even opened.**

**Alfred: N-no! The hero would never do something that childish!**

**Lizzie: Whatever. Now are we going to get to the story or not?**

**Me: Good pint Liz. **

**Arthur: DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympians doesn't own hetalia or the manual idea. If she did, I would get to cook more, and everyone would like it.**

**Eveyone: JAMIAS!**

**Arthur: D:**

BEEPBEEP! DING DONG! BEEPBEEP! DING DONG! BEEPBEE- smack. DING DONG!

"Stupid doorbell. I'm coming! Hold your cookies, I'm coming." I trudged down the stairs and opened the door to see my old friend the tsundere delivery guy. "Oh. It's you." I said distastefully.

"You has a name you know." He shot at me.

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"Nathan."

"Oh. Thanks for the info Nathan. Do I have a unit?"

"Yup. Here's the manual." He handed me a book twice as thick as the other ones (that I haven't exactly read yet).

"Whoa! Who is it? Belarus?"

"No. But good guess." Nathan held out the clipboard for me to sign, so I did. "Have and… interesting day Miss Shelby." He smirked at me and walked back to his truck.

I shook my head and threw the manual onto the couch, receiving a loud 'OW!' in protest. Jason sat up and rubbed his head.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing. Just look after that will?"

"Meh." Jason examined the cover. "Ee, eye, ive, how do you pronounce this?" He asked me.

"Figure it out!" I shouted, waking everyone up. They all came out of their respective rooms to see what was going on.

"What's going on?" Mattie asked soflty.

"New unit, don't really care. I'll get to it later. Hey! Guess what?" I said. "I learned how to sing a song in Russian!"

"What is it?" Julia asked eagerly.

"Why do you want anything to do with that commie b-"

"PG!" Lizzie shouted, covering Alfred's mouth. "We keep it PG in this house!"

"And to answer your question, I have an interest in world Geography and History, and different languages. Why do you think I watch all those Multilanguage videos on YouTube?" I said, getting a few weird looks.

"But America landed on the moon first!" Alfred complained. Then the box exploded, and the room went cold. When the wooden debris died down, an angry Russian was standing where the box was, with a cruel yet childish smile on his face, and a faucet pipe in his hand.

"Kolkolkolkol." He chanted. "Amerika, privyet comrade." He smiled at my trembling unit.

"AAHHHHHH!" Everyone screamed, ran into the closet.

**A/N Me: Dun Dun DUNNN!**

**Lizzie: Why must we do that all the time?**

**Shelby: I enjoy closet time. Besides, it's not as if there's only two people in there. :D**

**Lizzie: There was in the beginning.**

**Feli: Ve~ I remember that.**

**Arthur: And I thought watching you lot run in there was weird. It's weirder running in.**

**Julia: D:**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Well, it's good to be back! Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been like, super busy. =_=' Besides, I went to see the movie Puss in Boots today. Was so totally awesome! Darn, I'm rambling. Oh well, on to the much awaited story!**

~in the closet~

"I'm uncomfortable." Arthur complained. Well with tree girls, a guy, and four units, yeah, it's gonna be uncomfortable.

"Deal with it! We're as squashed as you!" Lizzie said.

"Its either here of there. So, who wants to survey the scene?" I asked.

Everyone looked at me. "Well, you suggested it." Julia started.

Next thing I knew, the other seven people shoved me out, and sent me sprawling at the feet of a very tall Russian.

"Erm, hello." I offered.

"Privyet. I take it you own this house?"

"Um, yeah, that's me." I managed a smile.

"You have sunflowers, da?" He asked.

"Weirdly, yeah." I said, thinking to the dozen Russian mammoth sunflowers I got as a party favor. My friends are nuts. "They're in the backyard. Would you like some? My name is Shelby by the way."

"Da. I would. Thank you, comrade Shelby." He smiled eagerly, and skipped (seriously? A grown man skips?) out the back door.

I smiled for a moment. He reminds me of a big teddy bear when he's happy. No wonder Kat's obsessed with him. Then I turned to the closet door, where muffled murmurs were being emitted from behind it. I sighed, and grabbed at the master key from my pocket. I named it the Master in honor of the Doctor's old friend. Anyway, it really comes in handy when my idiot of a brother locks himself out of the bathroom, the bedroom, the media room, the art room, the miscellaneous room, wow, there are a lot of rooms in my house, and Jason manages to lock himself out of all of them. Wow, I'm getting off track.

I pushed the key into the lock and opened the door. I scowled at the people inside the closet, my aura appearing slightly.

"And why exactly did you do that?" I raised an eyebrow menacingly.

"You suggested it." Julia said meekly. "Besides, when in need, you beat the pants (not literally) off Natalia, and she's the star wrestler of her team!" She said, refering to her younger sister, not Ivan's younger sister. She exited the closet, with everyone following like lemmings off a cliff, and wow, that was a bad comparison.

"N-N-Natalya?" I heard from behind me. I whirled around to see my new unit with an armful of sunflowers, shaking like a leaf.

"Yeah! Natalia's my kid sister!" She smiled, totally unaware of what she was saying. "I have a picture of her on my cell."

"M-may I see it?" He asked, and held out a quivering hand. Julia pulled up the picture on her screen, and handed the phone to Ivan. He gave a manly (read: girly) scream, dropped it, and ran into the closet, slamming the door behind him.

I picked the phone off the floor, and looked at the photo. "Aw, Julia." I looked around for her, but she slipped away. I assumed Feli was with her, since he was gone too.

I looked at the phone again, revealing a photo we took of Natalia when we forced her into a Belarus cosplay outfit. I sighed again, and walked over to the closet, again.

"Ivan!" I knocked on the door.

"D-da?"

"Out of closet. Now."

"B-but, Natalya."

"That's Natalia. I, not y. She's Julia's sister, who just happens to look just like your sister. We choose to ignore the creepiness." I explained.

"S-she's not here?" Ivan asked, trembling.

"Da." He stood up and crushed me in a bear hug. Normally, I'm pretty resistant to heavy weights, but DANG! This guy is STRONG!

"I-Ivan… can't… breathe!" I sputtered. He let go, and I stared at my staring units. "What are you looking at?" I asked. Before they could answer, I heard a loud POOF! from the kitchen.

I ran over and skidded to a stop.

"Waszer holle?" I shouted.

**A/N: So what happened? What was the POOF! Tune in next time and find out! :3 Warning! It may take a while.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hola people! I'm back! *cricket chirp* Oh, come on! At least one person missed me. Right? Anyone? You all just hate me because I took too long to update. Well, you're not the only one. *pout* Well, onto the suspense that took place last chapter!**

I stared into my once-clean kitchen, now covered in tomato sauce stains, dusted in a heavy white powder: flour. I the midst of all the carnage were two figures covered from head to toe in flour. Only their eyes were visible, and both portrayed fear: Feliciano and Julia.

"Oohhhhhhhh shoot." Julia muttered.

"Yeah, shoot is right. What the Hades happened?" (Yeah, I like Greek Mythology.) I asked, my scarlet aura appearing. It's been doing that a lot lately. The two adults looked absolutely frightened, and Feli pushed Julia forward, nudging her to go first.

"W-we w-wanted t-to m-make p-pasta." She started.

"A-and then f-food was thrown." Feli continued.

"A-and then the f-flour ex-exploded on t-the floor." Julia finished, pointing to the floor between them, where the remnants of the flour bag was.

I growled, and my aura became more prominent.

"We should run, right?" Julia asked uncertainly.

"Da, you should." I said with false sweetness, and a cobra smile on my face. I grabbed a crowbar from one of the kitchen drawers. I recognized it as Viviera the epic crowbar of doom, which I had used to beat the living daylights out of one of the school bullies when he threatened to eat my goldfish. I may have gotten detention for the rest of my first grade year, but hey, revenge had been sweet. "I'll give you a five second head start, starting now." They ran for it. I patiently counted to five, then ran after them.

"I like her." Ivan confirmed happily after about thirty seconds of running.

"Should we, um, help?" Arthur asked Lizzie uncertainly, staring at her. Lizzie was on the couch, enjoying the whole running scene over a bowl of popcorn.

"Hm? Nah. Just watch. This is gon' be good!" She cheered, and nommed on a handful of popcorn.

"Dude! Where'd you get the popcorn?" Alfred asked, and grabbed some, immediately stuffing his face.

"I have it, just incase." Lizzie munched on more as Julia and Feli whizzed past, followed closely by moi, your seemingly possessed narrator, who was wielding Viviera over my head, and laughing maniacally/sadistically.

I chased them to the upstairs hallway, which had doors on either side, an unusually myriad (pronounced MEE-ree-id) amount of doorways. Insert a Scooby-Doo chase scene here, and you have a pretty basic idea what happened in the hallway. I eventually chased them back downstairs, and into a corner.

Julia and Feli were each waving white flags helplessly, and wailing for their mothers. (Or in Feli's case, Grandpa Rome.) Then, just as I was about to hit them, a Ghost that I recognized appeared. I internally gasped. It was Grandpa Rome! Anyway, his unusually handsome ghost appeared in front of me, separating me from my prey. That's when he started to sing. And yes, it's the song from the episode/movie in Hetalia when Grandpa Rome's ghost appeared and saved Feli in the anime.

When he finished his song, and disappeared, I lowered my weapon. "Well that was weird. " I put down Viviera and walked over to Lizzie who was cracking up so hard at my Russia moment, I thought she would pee herself. Fortunately, she didn't. "You saw that too?" I asked my remaining unit.

"Yeah." Mattie said. "Al, Arthur, and Ivan ran away when the ghost left." I face palmed.

"Of course…" I muttered. I walked back over to Julia and Feli, who were sighing in relief.

"Grandpa Rome!" Feli breathed happily.

"Yeah, I know." I muttered. "Now, I'm really sorry about going phsyco on you."

"It's ok, I'm used to it." Julia smiled. Always the optimist.

"Ve~ it's ok!" Feli smiled. I was about to say something else, when the doorbell rang for the second time today.

"WHO THE HECK IS IT?" I shouted, my voice glistening with hostility. Unfortunately, it sent Feli and Julia back into the closet, sobbing, and the rest of my units returning from wherever they were at the sound of my yelling.

"Tis I! The great and powerful KAT!" My cousin's dramatic voice called from the other side of the front door. Feli's head poked out of the closet door.

"Kitty?" He asked hopefully.

"I am not a kitty!I am Kat! Now let me in or suffer the consequences, peasant!" She yelled.

"Nyah, I'm coming." I opened the door, and saw my cousin, Kat, at the door, grinning like a lunatic.

Kat is 5' 4", 17, and has stringy brown hair down to her shoulders. She has brownish green eyes that not hazel. Say that, and she'll feed you to her cats. One more thing, she's 100% Russian.

"Wasabi!" She told me happily.

"Vaca baka calcetines dummkopf!" I replied, sending, Kat, Lizzie, and I into fits of laughter.

"Wait, what?" Julia came out of the closet, dragging Feli out by the back of his shirt. "Cow idiot socks dumb-head? What the heck does that mean?" She asked. "And who's this?"

"Hola people! I'm Kat Bravino! I'm Jason and Shelby's favorite cousin!" She emphasized the 'favorite' part, and smiled like she won the title 'Miss Universe'.

"Does Kat stand for something?" Mattie asked.

Kat nodded up and down like a first grader. Not me first grader, because then she would be snapping people's limb's like twigs. "Uh-huh! It stands for Katerina, but just call me Kat, or I'll kill you." She flashed a huge grin that rivaled Alfred's.

"You are Russian, da?" Ivan asked.

"Da!" She smiled, and Alfred sobbed something like 'commies, commies everywhere'.

"Nyah! What brings you to my big house that we all call a somewhat home?" I asked.

"My cats." She stated. "They need a place to stay for a while, and there's too many for me to take to a kennel, 'cause I have to visit Ducky."

"Oh, how is she?" Jason asked.

"Uh, Ducky? Is that a cat name?" Alfred asked.

"No, stupid! Ducky's my kid sister! We just call her Ducky because she has such a hard name." She shrugged like 'what can you do'. "And Ducky's fine. Just…" Kat rubbed her arm uncertainly. "She, uh, she's, it's kinda hard to explain. But I have to go see her." She was definitely hiding something, but I shrugged it off.

"So you need me to take care of your cats, right?" Kat nodded. "How many do you have?" I asked suspiciously.

"Um, something like, I dunno, 28 cats." She said.

"Oh Kat." I face palmed. "I'll take care of them." I said.

"Yayz!~ Thank you Shelly!" She hugged me.

"Do NOT call me that." I growled.

"You know you love it." She cooed.

"You are a crazy cat lady, Kat." Lizzie smirked at her joke.

"Yeah, whatever."

I shook my head. "Now get outta here, before I feed your phone to your cats." I smiled.

"But I have coffee! Don't you want some?" She held up a cup of caffeinated Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee, and had a glint in her non-hazel eye that practically screamed 'I'm going to do something fun'. I shuddered.

"Um, no. Lizzie doesn't want any either. Right?" You know that movie Hoodwinked? The one with the hyper squirrel who goes nuts when he has coffee? That's what it's like for me and Liz.

"Nah, I want some." She grabbed the cup, and took a big sip. Next thing we knew, she was a human bouncy ball. She literally was bouncing off the walls, ceiling, and floor, cheering and laughing the whole way through. She then bounced out the door, and came back a few seconds later with takeout boxes of Chinese food.

"WhowantsChinese! IgotsomeonmywayhomefromRussia! Ialsogotvodka!" She held up three bottles of Russian vodka along with the Chinese food.

I glared at Kat. "I hate you." I stared at Lizzie who was still vibrating from the pure hyper energy. "You went to Russia, and got takeout from the Chinese place a few blocks away?" I asked my friend.

"Nopenopnope! IgotitfromChina!"

"In three seconds?"

"Yupyupyup!"

I face palmed. Then turned to my (strangely silent) units. "And this is why I don't drink coffee."

**A/N: So how was it? Love it? Hate it? RATE IT!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hola!~ I'm back! And it didn't take that long this time!**

**Shelby: Good. I like this one.**

**Arthur: She scares me sometimes…**

**Shelby: *glares at Arthur***

**Arthur: MEEP!**

**Lizzie: Doc doesn't own Hetalia, the Jedi mind trick, or the Doctor. Just thought I should let you know. **

DING DONG! BEEPBEEP! DING DONG! BEEPBEE- smack. DING DONG!

"Mrg. I'm coming." I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I shook off the covers, and walked to the door.

"Hi Nathan." I grabbed the waiver, and signed it before he could get in one of those snide comments that he just seems to love giving me. I dragged the (heavy, but not too heavy for moi, I'm too epic to be weak) inside, and shut the door, but not before Nathan yelled at me to brush my hair.

I wanted to drop the manual on the couch, but resisted the compelling urge, and looked at the cover.

**Francis Bonnefoy User Guide and Manual**

Crud.

I went into the kitchen to make cereal, because that's one of the few things I can make without burning, but someone was already there. And was currently burning what looked like a grapefruit.

"What are you doing in my kitchen?" I snarled, grabbing Viviera (My crowbar of epic doom, if you don't remember, the one I used to beat up that guy when I was in first grade).

Arthur Whirled around in surprise. "Shelby! I didn't notice you were here!" He gulped slightly at the sight of Viviera. "I wanted to make breakfast."

"You're burning a grapefruit! You don't even cook it! You cut it open and eat it! How do you burn it?" (Y'know? That kinda reminds me of that Simpsons episode.) I shouted, arousing Julia from one of the three downstairs rooms. The other ones are mine and Lizzie's, so we have easy access to the kitchen, doorbell, and weapons room.

"Nrg. What's with all the noise?" She shook her bed-head hair, and walked into the kitchen, eyeing Viviera. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"He's cooking." I stated earning a 'gasp!' "And I got a new unit, who just happens to be one of the biggest pervs ever." This one getting a 'le gasp!'.

I groped (not THAT kind of groped, you pervs!) around the mountain of forks, knives, spoons, spatulas, ect., and nonperishable foods to find the alarm button that would trigger a wakeup call to a certain room. "Yes, I have the whole house wired." I said to no one in particular, and reached for the switch. Instead of touching a wire, I found a cat body. One of Kat's 28 cats. Hey, didn't Feli take them all to his room?

"Hey!" I said softly. "Whatchya doing here Sashi?" I said to the brown and black (fat) cat hiding in front of the switch.

"Ooh! Kitty!" Julia squealed and (tried to) picked up the (heavy) cat.

"That one's name is Sasha, but we call her Sashi, or Dom." I told her, and stroked the cat's head, getting a purr of affection.

"Um, sorry, but, back to the new unit? Which pervert is it?" Arthur asked shakily. He knew which one it was, but didn't want to believe it.

"The French one." Julia and I replied in unison.

"Throw it away. Do it now."

"Heck no!" I said, putting as much sass as possible into those two words.

"Hey! You sound just like that girl we went to summer camp with!" Julia exclaimed.

"Oh, I didn't notice." I said sarcastically. I sighed and grabbed my iPod from the top of the pile, and jammed my ear buds in, switching on the music.

Almost immediately, Disney's Greatest Hits started playing, impulsing me to sing along. I shut my eyes and sang my heart out, dancing along to the songs. Halfway through the second song, my ear buds were pulled out by a really ticked off Lizzie.

"What in God's name are you doing?" She hissed. I opened an eye. I found myself surrounded by my units and my friends. Thankfully, Jason and Kat left last night, or they'd be a) very cranky, or b) howling with laughter.

"Um, singing along to epical Disney songs?" I tried. She glared at me.

"You. Woke. Me. Up." She said through clenched teeth. "And everyone else too." She gestured to my units, that weren't already awake. Ivan was in a pair of footie pajamas (where did he get those?), Mattie was in one of his sweatshirts, Alfred was in a pair of Superman boxers, and Feli, oh God, he wasn't wearing ANYTHING! Note to self: fangirl over this later. For the moment, I averted my eyes back to Lizzie.

"Well, now that you're here, Lizzie, in kitchen, now." I shoved into said kitchen.

"What? What?" She protested.

"I skimmed the manual before waking you all up, like when I got the manual, and one option of waking him up was French food, so, I need French food." I commanded. "Now obey your lord and Master!" Momentarily forgetting the crepes I had in the fridge. Lizzie's eyes burned with the fiery hatred of a mango, knowing which unit I had gotten.

"Oh!" Julia popped in. "Can you make French fries?"

Lizzie and I turned to her. "That's not French food!" We yelled.

"French toast?"

"Still doesn't count!"

"French toast and fries?"

"Doesn't count at all!"

"Fries toast French?"

"Still doesn't count!"

"You said that twice."

"We know." Lizzie thought for a second, then snapped her fingers. "Hey! What about those crepes?"

"And fries?" Julia asked. Lizzie and I stared at her.

"Um, no." Lizzie sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. Julia pouted.

"But I wanted an excuse to go to McDonalds…" She said mournfully, knowing very well, that Alfred would back her up.

"What about McDonalds?" Alfred asked, barging into the room. "When are we going?"

"When I have good reason to go. Which is NEVER!" I replied.

"Aw. Well, I just have a question. We've all been wondering about it." Alfred said.

"If it's about going to McDonalds, the answer is JAMAIS!" I said.

"No. But yeah, I was wondering about that. What we were actually wondering is why you guys don't have last names." Lizzie and I blushed, looking at the floor. Wow, it needs a polishing. Note to self: force Alfred to do it later.

The rest of my units came into the kitchen too.

"Da, why do you not have last names?" Ivan asked giving us big purple eyes. Don't look at the eyes, don't look at the eyes, don't look at the eyes!

"Well, we have them… we just prefer not using them." Lizzie explained.

"Why not?" Arthur asked.

"Because they are super top secret by the super secret school that Ari goes to. Duh."

Lizzie smacked me. "That's confidential information!" She growled.

"Well, at least I didn't tell them mine is Venitzo and yours is Miller." I said casually.

Lizzie smacked me again.

"OW! What was that for? It's not like I gave them our last names. Oh shoot. I just gave them our last names, didn't I?" I asked guiltily.

"Ya think?" Lizzie snapped.

Arthur and Alfred's eyes widened in recognition. "Hey, aren't you those alien people?" Alfred asked.

"Yeah, I remember. The organization's called-" Arthur was silenced via Viviera to the noggin. Not hard enough for him to bleed, but hard enough to give the message: shut the heck up.

Lizzie blanked her face and waved her hand in front of her like a Jedi. "These are not the droids you are looking for."

I copied. "We are not from ADIPA." Lizzie smacked me again. "OW!"

"The cake is a bagel and GLaDOS is a b*tch." Lizzie chuckled, doing the Jedi thing. Note to self: smack her for potty mouthing.

"I do not have the Doctor tied to a chair in my closet." I said, may or may not telling the truth. And yeah, the Jedi mind trick still going on.

"Will someone get me some French fries." Julia Jedied.

"No." Lizzie Jedied back.

"Maybe I should pull out those crepes now." I pointed out, and pulled the crepes out. They were still good, so I took a bite out of one. "Mmmmmmm." I like crepes.

Then, we all heard an explosion in the living room, and a loud 'Ohonhonhonhon'.

"AAHHHHHH!" And cue closet.

**A/N: Shelby: Lets see… Ok, first note… SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**Feli: Ve~?**

**Shelby: Second note…. Alfred! Polish the kitchen floor!**

**Alfred: Why?**

**Shelby: Because I told you to. Now do it!**

**Alfred: Aw… *starts polishing floor***

**Arthur: Wow, scariness sure comes in handy… I could never get him to do that…**

**Shelby: Oh yeah, Lizzie? Come here for a sec.**

**Lizzie: What?**

**Shelby: *smack***

**Lizzie: OW! What was that for?**

**Shelby: For using T words in a K+ story.**

**Lizzie: Meanie.**

**Me: Shelby, calm down, or I take away Viviera until the next chapter.**

**Shelby: Never! I shall rule the world! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Me: *takes Viviera***

**Shelby: NOOOOOO! MY PRECIOUSSSSS!**

**Me: You can have it back next chapter. Now go to your room and think about what you did!**

**Shelby: Meh.**

**Julia: Review, because I wanna see what happens next. Haha, I would hate to be Doc next chapter. Haha. Hasta la bye-bye!**


	16. Chapter 16

I peeked through the open door. Sure enough, there was Doc, typing on her laptop, and muttering to herself about 'what should happen next?' and texting her friends for advice. I know that because it wouldn't stop RINGING!

I looked over my shoulder, and gave the signal. Julia gave me a thumbs up and slunk (is that a word?) down the hallway where the troops were waiting.

I heard light shuffling, and then a hand on my shoulder. I tuned around, and Lizzie gave me a grin. "This is going to be fun." She mouthed. I smirked. I faced my units, brother, cousin, and friends.

I held up tree fingers, then waited, then made a zero motion with my hand. Then I burst through the door.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOC!" We all shouted.

Doc swirled around in her swivel chair with an 'O' shape on her mouth. "What?" She sputtered as Alfred toted in a huge cake in the shape of the TARDIS. Ivan followed him with an armload of presents, carefully selected, and professionally wrapped. And by selected, I mean we consulted a magic 8 ball, and by wrapped, I mean we put it in bags and said 'all done!'

We all started singing.

"_Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympains, Happy Birthday to you!"_ We all clapped, and took a big breath. Why couldn't her name be short? Something like, I dunno, June? Oh well.

I took a present from Ivan, and handed it to Doc. "Open it! It's from me!" I said. Doc smiled, and pulled my present out of its bag.

"Wow Shelby, you got me a, um, what's this supposed to be?" She asked.

"It's a crepe!" I said. "I made it myself."

"Ah." She handled it gingerly, and I couldn't blame her. My cooking is awful! But the magic 8 ball said it was a good idea. Actually, it said 'Ask again later'. "Thanks Shelby." She smiled again.

"Mine next!" Julia shoved a big bag onto Doc's lap. She pulled it out, revealing a huge hand-made card that said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DOC!' on the cover in huge neon pink letters. Doc opened the card, and read it aloud.

"Doc, you're the best! Have a happy whatever-age-you-are Birthday. Thanks Jules." She smiled at Julia, and gave her a hug. Hey, why don't I get a hug?

Basically, this went on for a while, and I zoned out for most of it. Doc got some nice presents, like 100% Canadian maple syrup, and some not-so-nice, like a batch of scones. Doc took a bite, forced a smile, and spat it out into the trash can when Arthur wasn't looking.

"Hey Doc?" I said after the presents and cake were done.

"Yeah?"

"Can I have Viviera back?"

"… NO!"

"Why not? You said next chapter." I gave the cow eyes, which I am pretty darn good at. "Pwease?"

Doc sighed. "Oh, all right."

"Yes!" I fist pumped, and grabbed Viviera from Doc's hands. "Now, to take care of some business…" I smiled maliciously at Doc.

"Don't even think about it." She warned without flinching. "I'm the author. I outrank you."

"Meh. Well, can you hurry up with the next chapter already? Julia said that if you put her next to Feli, she's going to pull out her airhorn."

"Wasn't planning on it. But what I'm doing, is a secret. Shhhh." She put a finger to her lips, and winked. Then she turned around, and started typing. I looked at the screen.

"Hey! You're typing what just happened!" I protested.

"Well, I haven't exactly finished the next one, so I'm doing this. After all, it is my birthday." She flashed me a coy smile. "Now shoo. I'm busy. And don't you have homework?"

"You're not my mom." I snapped.

"And you're not my child. Now shoo."

"Who died and made you the Queen of England?"

"Why, the entire royal family!" She informed me sarcastically.

"Dang girl, you're good."

"And don't you forget it. By the way, where did you get the idea for this?"

I shrugged. "Elitekessu. At least, I think that's how it's spelt. Anyways, bye now! Enjoy the crepes!" I waved, and sauntered out the door, knowing very well that they were awful.

"Later Shelby."

**A/N: Doc: I still can't believe you guys did that.**

**Shelby: Well, it was fun. Besides, you should've seen the look on your face! **

**Doc: There was a mirror behind you, so yeah, I did see my face. That, and Mattie took a picture, and showed it to me.**

**Shelby: Really?**

**Mattie: Yeah.**

**Kumajiro: Who are you?**

**Mattie: I'm Canada! **

**Lizzie: Review, or I'll make sure everyone forgets Mattie. *Malicious smile/glare***


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Guess what? I'm not dead! *random person throws shoe* *dodge* HEY! WHO THREW THAT? *glare* Anyway, I took the time that it took to update (semi) wisely. As in I was too lazy, studying for random tests and quizzes in Algebra, studying for random quizzes and tests in ENGLISH, skipping out on my homework to read random fanfictions of my choice, and now MIDTERMS! Enough with my ranting, ONTO LE STORY!~**

~in the closet~

"I'm squished." Julia complained. No freaking duh there. There's, let me see here. Um, three girls plus an American, Canadian, Brit, Russian giant, um,uh, who comes next again? Oh yeah! An Italian, and, and, I think that's it. Anyways…. 3 girls + 5 units = 8 PEOPLE! I'm good at math now!

"Should I get a bigger closet?" I thought aloud.

"Yes." Everyone said.

"Well, it's either be squished in a tiny closet, of be with a pervy Frenchman." Everyone shut up. Julia, Lizzie and I shared a look, and we were all thinking the same thing. Not waiting for a reply, we shoved Arthur out of the closet screeching 'FrUK!'

"What? No! I-" Arthur tried to protest, but got shoved out anyway. The three of us pushed our ears against the door, listening. It was basically just 'Bloody frog!' and 'Ohonhonhon~' and a whole lot of crashing.

The whole time, I was laughing. And so was Julia. And Lizzie.

Eventually, we got bored. So we pushed out of the closet  
>(with great difficulty) and Lizzie grabbed Les Miserables off the book shelf, and smacked both units on the head, interrupting the fighting. And Julia blew a random air horn.<p>

"OW!" The two men rubbed their heads. "Why so violent?" My new unit, Francis, muttered. Then he saw me and my friends. "Bounjour mon cheries~" Francis whipped out three random roses out of no where. "I am-" –smack-

"Oh shut it you bloody frog!" Arthur shouted.

Then Francis notices Lizzie's temporary hurtful weapon. "Is that Les Miserables?" He shouted with glee.

"Yes it is." Lizzie said. We all read it. Well, Shelby and I did, Julia didn't she fell asleep after the first sentence. And it was 3 in the afternoon…"

"It was boring!"

"It's not really for reading." I said. "We see it as a bulletproof shield, an unbreakable weapon, or a paperweight. That's all it's really good for. That, and a torture device."

Francis started to sob. _Sob._

I checked my watch. "OH MY CHEESE AND CRACKERS!" I shouted startling everyone. "I START MY NEW JOB TODAY!" I zoomed upstairs and came back down in a matter of minutes, fully clothed and primped. "I'm a movie critic. I get paid to watch movies all day. God, I'll love my job~"

"Hey! What about me? I'm stuck at the KinderCare?" Lizzie punched my arm. It kinda hurt.

"No," I rubbed my arm. "I thought that it was such a waste to leave such an epic job open, so I got you a job as a food critic." Lizzie gasped.

"AHHH! I LUVS YOUUUUU!" Lizzie squealed, and ran over to her house to get ready.

"Reminds me… You. Guys. Jobs. Now." I instructed my units.

"But waiiiii?" Alfred whined. "It's so boring."

"D.C. is a few miles away. Get a job at the white house."

"Wait, we're in Virginia?" Mattie asked.

"Yeah. And where's Feli?" I turned around, and saw the Italian asleep on the couch, ve~ing softly. "Gott… FELI! WAKE UP!" I shouted, clapping my hands.

"WAH!" He rolled off the couch. "Ow…" He moaned. I sighed, and helped him up, and I gave him the same instructions I gave to my other units. "Si bella!" He saluted me, and I blushed slightly. He ran out to my truck.

"WAITTTTT!" I shouted. All my units gave me funny looks. "MOST OF YOU GUYS AREN'T WEARING ANY PANTS!" I noted loudly. They blushed, and changed into clothes, in their respective rooms. Francis was already dressed, but that didn't stop him from trying to get undressed. IN FRONT OF ME AND JULIA. Later, they were all ready.

I looked at the arrangement: Alfred was in the driver's seat, Lizzie in shotgun, Julia in the middle, and everyone else in the bed of my truck. I sighed.

"ALFRED! I'm driving!" I called.

"Nuh-uh."

"My car, my rules." Now get in the back."

"Aw…"

**A/N: Me: So what do you think? Any questions?**

**Alfred: Why did Lizzie hit Francis even though she knew who it was?**

**Julia: Because it's the circle of Shelby's house, and it hurts us all.**

**Ivan: Da~ ^J^**

**Me: Oh yeah, rating's going up to T.**

**Everyone: Why?**

**Me: Because Shelby has a mouth.**

**Shelby: What's that supposed to mean, bitch?**

**Me: My point exactly. That, and Lizzie gets a Romano unit.**

**Lizzie: WHAT? When?**

**Me: Seikatsu-chan owns you, and she's writing the story. Deal.**

**Lizzie: I hate you so much…**

**Me: Don't hate the player, hate the game.**

**Lizzie: WTF?**

**Mattie: Review?**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Me: I'm ba-ack!**

**Shelby: About time. You were gone for so long!**

**Me: I have my reasons.**

**Lizzie: Let's hear them!**

**Me: I was grounded for a month and I'd rather not explain why, and then I tried publishing after the month was up and the stupid meanie that is my computer wouldn't let me! And do you know how hard it is to type on this keyboard?**

**Kat: You're just lazy.**

**Me: no I am not!**

**Julia: Kat saw you reading and obsessing over Fullmetal Alchemist earilier when you knew the computer worked!**

**Me: … so?**

**Everyone: UGH! Doc doesn't own Hetalia or anything mentioned in this chapter.**

**Me: ^-^**

The car ride was long. Very long. So long it was scary. But it was only long in the perspective that lots of people were taking and the whole trip takes about seven minutes! There was so much talking….

"SHUT THE THIN MINTS UP!" I slammed the brakes and screamed at the units in the back. They turned to me from their (loud) conversation (all out brawl). I turned around and adjusted the rear view mirror so I could keep eye on them. "I don't know about you, but I would like to get through this day without any trouble with the US Government!" I growled, and went back to my conversation with Lizzie and Julia.

"You remember its your birthday tomorrow, right?" I asked Lizzie, smirking. She glared at me.

"You do something to disrupt my life online as a fangirl, you will die." She promised.

"Don't worry~" I said slyly.

"Ok, now I'm scared of whatever's going to happen on Lizzie's birthday." Julia whimpered. She looked out the window just as we passed her house. "Hold on, stop the car, STOP THE CAR!" She shrieked, and I slammed the brakes on again.

A loud "OW!" was heard from the back of my truck. I shot a glare to my units. I pulled up in front of Julia's house. To my surprise, there was a large sign infront of my house, displaying the hated word.

_**FORECLOSED**_

Julia raced to the lawn, and kneeled in front of the sign. Although she was good at hiding it, and her back was toward me, I saw that she was crying. Without thinking, I dashed out of the car to my friend's side. I gave her a big hug, and she sobbed into my shoulder. Lizzie wrapped her arms around us, giving us both a big hug.

I looked up at Julia's house. Sure. It was small, but it was cozy and homey. When I was a kid, Lizzie and I would run over and play with her. We would play tag on the big lawn, and put makeup on each other and laugh about how stupid we looked. Not anymore. Her parents moved away, and her sister, Natalia, moved into her boyfriend's house when financial business got bad.

I could feel the presence of my units standing behind the tree of us in our protective bundle.

"I-I'm so sorry." Arthur said meekly. He didn't know what to say. No one did. One by one, my units joined in our group hug. Julia kept crying, and my shirt was getting soaked. We were all silent, until we heard a horn honking. Out of surprise, we all turned around. Jason had snuck into my truck, and was honking the horn.

"Heh. Heheh." Julia chuckled softly. "HA! Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA –hic-" Julia started laughing. It jolted everyone out of their stupor, sending us all into fits of giggles. Julia grabbed my shirtsleeve, and blew her nose into it, sounding like a dying goose, and covering the sleeve with snot.

"JULIA! GROSS!" I yelled, half angry, half laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" we all laughed. I glanced at Jason, who was flashing me a grin and a double thumbs up. Even though he's a total jerk sometimes, my brother sure knows how to cheer a person up.

Julia wiped her tears away, and gave a brave smile. "I guess this means I need a better job. Now."

"Hows about we go home first. My shirt is covered in your tears and snot." I said, sending Julia and Lizzie into more fits of laughter.

"Yeah."

**A/N: Me: So it was short, and somewhat depressing-**

**Julia: *throws a lamp at me* WHY WOULD YOU FORCLOSE MY HOUSE!**

**Me: *dodges lamp* ASK PANDAPPLE33! Anyway, keep watch for the next chapter. I give you hint: ARGH YE SCURVEY CONQUISTADOR!**

**Mattie: Leave a review please.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Wow, it's been a long time since I updated this, but I have an excuse! I lost the bane of my existence! My notebook! Actually, the bane of my existence is my iPad, but you get the idea. I lost my notebook, which holds all my ideas (well, most of them,) and I couldn't find it, ergo, I couldn't update. Then I found it a week later in my basement. SO I brought it upstairs, and lost it again. I found it a few days later in guess where. The basement! I will have vengeance! Well, I would, if I didn't rely on the awesome Wi-Fi down there. Enough with my ramblings! Let's get this show on the road! Oh, and thanks for following my non-existent plot~ ME NO OWN HETALIA!**

Ah, what a beautiful day. I was completely alone for the first time in a while, Julia moved in, and I had an awesome new job. I sent my units out shopping for supplies, and made it perfectly clear that any alcohol, wine, cigarettes, or anything illegal would be confiscated and destroyed. And they would die. I settled on my big couch with a cup of hot cocoa (yes, I do have hot cocoa in the middle of the summer), and switched on Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I thought that this was the best anime besides Hetalia, and I haven't watched it in forever! Just as I was about to hit play, my doorbell started to ring.

DING! COOKIE! DING! COOKIE!

And yes, I got my doorbell changed to ding cookie. I got it off of Fairly Odd Parents, and I was proud of my obnoxious doorbell. But it was going to get old really quickly if Nathan kept showing up.

"All right, all right! I'm coming!" I screeched, and put my cocoa down. I opened the door to (guess who?) Nathan, my favorite delivery guy. "Oh. It's you." I groaned.

"I'm not too thrilled myself." He handed me the waiver stating that he wasn't responsible for rape, death, nosebleeds, yadda yadda yadda, ect. "Sign here." He said, and I sighed as slowly as possible, just to annoy him. "Have a nice day." He tipped his hat when I was done, which was about five minutes later, and left me with another big box.

When I had registered that he was gone, I grabbed Viviera, and started to hit the front door. "Why does he do this to me? Does God hate me?" I stopped, and face palmed. "Right… The pop-up." I tucked Viviera into my hair, twisting until my hair was held securely in a bun via Viviera. I looked at the manual, which Nathan had oh so conveniently dropped onto the floor.

**ARTHUR KIRKLAND: USER GUIDE AND MANUAL**

Wait, what? Don't I already have one? This was really weird. Since my alone time was already shattered, I decided to wake the guy up in the worst way that I thought possible.

"Hola amigo! Como estas?" I said in a goofy Spanish accent. A nanosecond later, the box exploded, impaling a large chunk of wood into my swinging arm. And I found myself facing the pointy end of a very sharp-looking sword. Well ain't all this just dandy?

"Avast! Where be ye, ye dog of a conquistador?" An England fully decked in Pirate gear growled. I wanted to make a snide yet witty comment, but what can you say in this situation?

"Eep!" How about Eep? Solves all problems.

"Argh." He lowered his sword, which I was thankful for. Then he started inspecting me, that one, not so much. "I can see that ye be just a wench. Just right for marryin'. Where's yer man, wench?" If this were an anime, I would've had a huge tic mark on my head. Instead, my eye started to twitch.

I grabbed Viviera out of my hair, sending it into cascades of bed-headed brown. I also gave him a good solid whack on the head, dazing him. "I am NOT a wench. I do NOT have a 'man', and I'm never getting married, so I would prefer it if you would shut up." I stated venomously. "What do you have to say for yourself?" I spat.

"I like 'em feisty." He licked his lips, and pulled me into a dip. "And I do believe I can arrange something for the 'man' part." He pulled me closer, with a serious rape face. Unfortunately for him, I was still holding Viviera. "Ow!" I lifted Viviera from his foot, and the pirate dropped me. "Why you little… C'mere, you!" He growled, and tried to grab me. He got the business end of my crowbar instead.

So, yeah. We started sword fighting (well, I was crowbar fighting, but, same difference), and he pulled off some fancy footwork, I gotta say. But I was a woman, and could do better in high heels. In a matter of minutes, I had him pinned to the floor with Viviera to his neck.

"How can ye fight like that? Yer just a lass!" He gaped.

"I may be a lass, but I can still kick your carcass into next week!" I hit his head, and sent him into dreamland with a good, solid knot on his head. Once again, it was pretty peaceful, so I decided to watch Fullmetal Alchemist, since I really wanted to watch, and Artie (yes, Artie. I already have an Arthur, so why not Artie?) was sleeping. Finally!

DING! COOKIE! DING! COOKIE!

Never mind. "NOW what?" I opened the door again, hoping for girl scouts, but instead, I got Nathan. Again. With another box. AGAIN.

"Sign." He said, and handed me the waiver. AGAIN!

"Well look who came back. Thought you said you wanted to leave." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Look, I don't like it anymore than you do, so just sign the damn waiver so I can go!" So I signed, just to get rid of him. "Have a nice day." He grabbed the waver, and left.

"Well, I don't know about you, but my day just got a whole lot better!" I called, and then slammed the door shut before he could say something back. Now whom did I have to house, clothe, and feed out of the goodness of my otaku-heart?

**ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO USER GUIDE AND MANUAL**

Ok, it's a Spain. I skimmed the manual, and saw one that caught my eye. I cleared my throat, and thought of Lovino, and entered the "Lovi state of mind", as I called it.

"OI B******! WAKE THE **** UP! I'M HUNGRY, D*****!" I shouted at the box. Once again, the box exploded, once again, I got a mega-splinter, and once again, I found myself staring down the shaft of a sword (well, it was actually and ax).

"Tú no eres Lovino." A Spain decked in conquistador clothing growled. At that, Artie woke up from his crowbar-induced slumber. He jumped up and snarled at my Antonio. Someone shoot me now!

"Argh, there ye be, ye scurvy conquistador!" Artie shouted, and pointed his sharp, pointy object at Antonio, who in turn, pointed his sharp, pointy object at Artie. "I be the Master of this house! So I'll be asking ye to leave." He growled.

"Y la niña? Tú tienes ella?" Antonio raised an eyebrow.

"Aye, she be mine also." I practically busted a vein. Who did this pirate think he was?

"Who do you think you are?" I shouted.

"Why lass, I be Captain Arthur Kirkland, ruler of the high seas!" He chuckled. Remember that tic mark? Imagine that times sideways eight, and you still aren't anywhere near how mad I am. I hit him with Viviera, rendering Mr. "Ruler of the high seas" unconscious. My eye was still twitching like mad when I knocked him out. No one, and I repeat, no one, owns me. before anyone else could do anything else, I grabbed a roll of duct tape (pink with zebra stripes), and taped Artie to the couch.

Antonio then seemed to realize that I was there. well, her knew I was there before, it just sort of hit him. "Hola mi amour. Me llamo España, o Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. Y tú? Cuál es tú nombre?" He took my hand, and planted a kiss on it.

I sighed. Toda was going to be a long day. "Hola España," I said, acting flirty. Y'know, batting eyes and that crap. Obviously, Antonio was pleased with this. "Me llamo Shelby. Buenos noches, mi Antonio~" I cooed. I thoroughly enjoyed his confused expression before I knocked him out too. I also taped him the the couch, on the opposite side of course. Better safe than sorry, and I wasn't going to take any chances.

Now I really wanted to watch FMA, and there was no on here to stop me, and if Artie and Antonio protested, I would tape their mouths shut. I decided to go to the episode where the zombie army started to come out and eat people, because it's the most epical thing ever! I breathed a sigh of relief, and sat in the middle of the couch.

DING! COOKIE! DING! COOKIE!

Ok, who taped the sign on my doo that said "Grand Central Station"? Who was it? Was it you? Hm. Wise guy. I opened the door for the third time today. This time (thankfully) it was Julia and my Units. With a heck of a lot of bags.

**A/N: Ok, you know what? I'll leave it there. It takes too much time to finish this chapter. Such… A… Pain…**

**Shelby: You sound like Sloth.**

**Me: I know.**

**Shelby: And why did you have me with two new units?**

**Me: Cuz I could.**

**Shelby: And why did you leave it there?**

**Me: Cuz the original ending was you getting shot in the heart.**

**Shelby: O.O What?**

**Me: Don't worry, it'll still happen.**

**Shelby: I HATE YOU!**

**Me: Oh don't be a wuss. REVIEW!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Well, I'm back! And I have 30 reviews? NEW MILESTONE! And since I'm only 20 away, 50****th**** reviewer gets a free oneshot! No yaoi, no M, and no Mpreg. I'm trying to keep this profile clean. If you want a songfic, just request. Ok, I just have one more thing to say:**

**Kony is a bad dude, and he should be stopped. For more information, go to , to learn more. K? K. Oh, and Shelby got mad at me the other day, and stole my notebook so I couldn't update. Guess where she hid it?**

Feli Skipped in first, and didn't pay any attention to the two new units duct taped to the big couch or the gashes on the door (which I would have to fix). Everyone else on the other hand, did. I turned to Arthur, whose jaw had hit the floor when he saw himself taped to the couch.

"I blame you, flying mint bunny, and Nathan." I stated quickly.

"Wh- wha- why?" He sputtered.

"Because, you were that," I pointed to the pirate. "Flying Mint Bunny is the company that brought all of you guys here, and Nathan's my smart alek delivery guy."

"Oh."

"But Shelbell, don't you already have an England?" Julia asked, very confused.

"Si… This is bad." I sighed, choosing to ignore Julia's term of endearment.

"I beg your pardon?" Arthur exclaimed, clearly offended.

"Well, for one thing, le pervert over there," I gestured to Francis, who was poking the unconscious pirate, "will have two Englands to molest, two, Antonio will be fighting two Englands, and three, I don't need any ore drunkards! It's bad enough that I wake up, and all the alcohol in the house is gone overnight, and I find some dude sitting on the floor, drinking dirty water because he thins its alcohol, in this house!" I shouted, waking up the new units.

"Arg! Ye frog bastard! Gett off!" Artie (that's what I'm calling the pirate, deal with it) shouted.

"But Angleterre~"

"No buts! Off!"

"Señorita! Señorita! Ooh~ dos señoritas!"

Just then, Lizzie burst through to door. "I heard what was happening through the teleporter! I came over as quick as possible! Wait, why are there two Iggys? Y una España?" She looked at me, curiosity evident in her dark eyes.

"Yo no sé. Ask Nathan." I answered.

"Ooh~ tres señoritas~ Vosotros hablamos Español?"

"SI España. Sierra tú boca."

"I can't belive it! Bested by a wench! Trickery! Trickery! I demand a rematch!" Artie shouted and struggled against his zebra-striped bonds.

"OI!" I shouted, drawing everyone's attention to me. "First of all, thanks for shutting up and listening to me, second, I think it's time for some ground rules." I raised an eyebrow, glaring at those who have brought the rules.

"First, my room and Julia's room is strictly off limits to anyone of the opposite gender. Yes Francis, that does include you; you're a guy. Two, absolutely no alcohol, or drugs, or whatever else, is allowed. Yes Francis, that does include condoms. III, no one is allowed to claim ownership over the house, my friends, or me. That is because I technically own all of you, and am your superior. Yes Artie and Antonio that means you too. And D, absolutely no sex is allowed under my roof, on my lawn, or anywhere on my property." I growled, and glared at Francis, Artie, Arthur, can Antonio.

"Anyone who doesn't follow those four simple rules, will be sent back to their maker in a million itty-bitty Edward Elric-sized pieces. Got it?" I glared around the room, my aura showing, and making the temperature rise in the room as if the flames of hell had come alive in the living room. "SO, unless any of you have a death wish, or simply have the urge to be killed, you will obey. Capisce?" I swung Viviera around for affect.

It worked. I know this because Julia and Feliciano both broke down crying.

"OHMIGOD I'M SO SORRY!" I apologized, and pulled both into a hug. "Shh, shh, shh, it's going to be alright, I'm sorry for scaring you." I said soothingly. Have I ever told you that I have an extreme maternal instinct when it comes to small children? Well, I do.

Artie was speechless. I then remembered that he had only seen me violent, the crowbar-wielding wench of doom. "So the wench has a soft side, hm?" He smirked, as if he had already figured out how to use it to strip me of my virginity. Annoyed, I threw my crowbar in his direction. "HA! Ya missed!" He gloated. Then Viviera crashed into the bookcase behind him, sending a dictionary toppling onto his head.

"No I didn't!" I gloated back.

Lizzie turned from the scene of the crash to look at me with chibi-sparkle eyes. "Can I live here?" She asked. "You have two Iggys and a Spain!"

"What about Ari, Mia, and Kara?" I asked her. "They're your sisters! You can't abandon them!"

"Can they come too?"

"Well, seeing as how I have a France, a Priate!England, and a Conquistador!Spain, all I'll need is a Prussia, and I'll have the entire BTT and the four perviest nations!" I threw my hands into the air. I do that sometimes. "HEY-O! Someone shoot me now! Let's go!" I said.

"Ok." A voice behind me said. I whirled around just as a bullet came flying towards my heart.

**A/N: I told you.**

**Shelby: Have I ever told you that I hate you?**

**Me: Yes, yes you have.**

**Shelby: Well I do! What's going to happen next? An A-bomb?**

**Alfred: No way! I promised never to use those again!**

**Lizzie: I'm fine with whatever as long as I get my Iggys and my Spain.**

**Shelby: Does no one care what happens to me?**

**Julia: Well, you threw your hands up in the air sometimes, sayin' "HEY-o! Let's go!" Does that count?**

**Shelby: NO!**

**Me: Oh well. Next chappie, We're al forcing you to Hooters.**

**Shelby: WHAT? *attempts to kill me***

**Me: I'll see you later if Shelby doesn't kill me! *runs away***

**Shelby: GET BACK HERE YOU RUNT!**

**Me: Run, run, as fast as you can, you'll never catch me, I'm the gingerbread man! HAHAHAHA!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I'm back! And in somewhat of a record time!**

**Shelby: I still hate you.**

**Me: I thought we got over this! Anyway, while I was away, Shelby got her revenge on me. She locked me in a room with a guy from my school. **

**Shelby: Serves you right.**

**Me: Oh well. That's LIFE!**

**Shelby: Just get on with it!**

**ME: FINE!**

"Wha!" I screamed, and the bullet met its mark. Then laughter was following the bullet.

"I got you!" The voice crooned. I looked towards where the bullet came from, and saw my idiot brother, laughing his little butt off.

"Durn it Jason!" I screeched, and pulled the nerf dart off my shirt. "What the heck?" I threw the bullet back at him, which of course, didn't go very far.

"Hahahahahahaha! I finally snuck up on you! Who's the ninja now?" He taunted.

"Still me." I sweat dropped, and ran over to tackle him.

"GAH! GETOFF! GETOFF!" He clawed at my arms, which were wrapped around his torso. I shook my head, and gave him a noogie for good measure.

"How in the blazes did ye not die from that? The bullet his its mark!" Artie shouted. Right… I forgot that he has no idea what a nerf gun is… I grabbed the gun from my brother, and unleashed a few rounds at the pirate. "AAAAHHHH-wait. This doesn't hurt at all!" He shouted.

"Dude, it's called a nerf gun. Look it up!" This time, Alfred was laughing his butt off. I shot hi m too. "GAH!" U laughed, and pretended to blow smoke from the nozzle (is that what it's called?).

I let go of my brother, who immediately started gasping for air, and muttering to himself about 'Sweet, sweet air. Don't ever leave me again.' My brother's a wuss. That's why I'M the ninja in the family.

"So what do you want?" I asked my brother, and tossed the gun to Julia, who 'EEP!'ed and jumped away. Instead, Ivan got the gun. This would lead to problems later…

"I got you a job!" Jason had an expectant look on his face. "And Julia can come too!" I smacked him. "OW!" He held his scalp. "What was that for?"

"I already have a job, baka!" I smacked him again. "I work as a movie critic!"

"Um… About that…" Mattie held the kitchen phone up. Apparently it was ringing while I was ranting and shooting. He handed me the phone.

"Hello?" I said. It was my boss! "Oh hi! What? It's not my- you- UGH! I'm sorry! So what if I gave a bad review on a $2.5 million movie? Ok, that is pretty bad. I'm sorry! No, you can't fire me, I FIRE MYSELF!" I screamed into the phone, and threw it to the wall, making a dent, and destroying the phone. I turned to my brother. "Where is this job, exactly?" I growled, my aura showing, just a tiny bit.

"Hooters!" He cheered.

"Hell no."

"Aw, c'mon!" He begged. "Hooters girls get aid a lot!"

"Yeah, from tips from drunken men who are only there for the games and the scantily–clad girls who serve them. I snorted. "No. Way." Then I felt my self being picked up. "ACK!"

"C'mon dude, lets go to Hooters!" Alfred cheered, and slung me over his shoulder. He then ran out to my truck, with me kicking and screaming nasty things, mostly Shakespeare insults that I pined up in English class.

~Later~

"I hate you all." I snapped at my units. Ivan and Mattie let out Antonio and Artie (after they had gotten changed I more suitable clothes, and left their weapons at home). And now I was sitting in the passenger seat of my truck, plotting on ways to kill my brother.

"Come on, Shelby! It'll be fun!" Julia said. Et tú, Julia?

"Meh." I frowned, and stared out the window.

When we arrived at the Hooters place, I tried to stay in the car, but Alfred wouldn't accept that. He dragged me into the building, while I was trying to get free. Feli opened the door, and we were greeted by a cheerful 'Welcome to Hooters!' from the waitresses. Alfred marched me up to the back of the restaurant, where a woman asked me if I was Shelby.

"Yeah, I'm Shelby. And this is my friend Julia." I grabbed Julia's sleeve, pulling her away from the hula-hoops, where she had been playing with Feli a second ago.

"Good. Just take the customers' orders, serve them their food, and get changed into these." She threw two sets of Hooters uniforms at Julia and I. I caught mine, and Julia caught hers with her face. "Your brother was kind enough to tell me your sizes. Now get dressed." She shooed us to the Girls bathroom, where Julia and I quickly got changed into our uniforms.

I hated every minute of it. "Well, show time." I whispered to myself, and pushed open the door.

**A/N: Well that was nice.**

**Shelby: I hate you so much right now!**

**Julia: And why am I working there too?**

**Shelby: Because if I'm going through hell, you're going with me.**

**Julia: … **

**Me: I asked Kat, and she smacked me and said she hated hooters. I also asked Lizzie. She held a gun to my face.**

**Julia: …**

**Me: If you want to see what happens next, click the magic button!**

**V**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I'm back! And a lovely late St. Patty's day! Well, back to Shelby's torture- I mean- job!**

**Shelby: Out of all the places, why HOOTERS? You know I hat Hooters!**

**Me: I honestly don't see what's wrong with the place. The foods good, there are plenty of commercials to watch, and then there's the hula hooping!**

**Shelby: I hate the place! It shows off scantily clad women, has them serve drunken guys who are there to watch sports and stare at the waitresses!**

**Me: But you get paid a lot!**

**Artie: And how come I didn't get a lot of spotlight?**

**Me: Eh, there will be more of you this chapter.**

**Antonio: Y yo?**

**Me: Yes, you too.**

**Antonio: SI!**

**Me: ^^" I do not own Hetalia or Hooters. But Papa Greed said he would try to get me Hetalia for y birthday! Which is… eight months from now… :'( **

**Shelby: Just get on with it!**

**Me: FINE!**

"Hello, my name is Shelby, and I'll be your server today." I said as cheerfully as I could without letting my aura show. If it did show, I changed it to orange in the bathroom so it would match my outfit. Don't ask me how I do it, I just do. Anyway, I wrote my name on a napkin like the manager told me to, and I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen to take orders.

"Darlin', could you get us a round of beer to start? Thanks sugar bun." One of the seven guys at the table said. As far as I could tell, they were from the South. Well, further south than Virginia. He winked at me, and I tried to keep my cool.

"Coming right up." I smiled, and walked towards the kitchen. "YO TONY! I NEED SEVEN BEERS!" I shouted to the chef.

"For the billionth time, my name is STEVE! Not Tony!" He shouted back. I had been working here for an hour and had already knew how to peeve Tony- er, Steve. I laughed, and gave him the order. Steve was quick, so he handed me the beers in a mere minute. "Here you go."

"Thanks Steve." I laughed, and brought the beers to the man table. Yes, I dubbed it the man table. Get over it. "Here's your beers, don't get too drunk, because I won't drive you home." I handed out the beers, and pulled out my paper thing. "Now have you decided what you want to eat?" I asked, glaring at my paper.

"We'll have a big basket of hot wings. Right boys?" Cowboy hat (because he wears a cowboy hat) said, and laughed. The rest of his posse laughed with him. I rolled my eyes, and left to go visit Steve.

"YO TONY! BASKET OF HOT WINGS TO TABLE WEIRD!" I shouted.

"My name is STEVE!" He shouted.

"Whatever. I need a big basket of hot wings. Spiciest you got. Ok?" I slipped him the order, and went to go see how Julia was doing.

"Hi, what can I get you?" Julia asked cheerfully. Yes, that's Julia. Miss Cheerful.

"I want that mighty fine ass of yours, little lady." A guy at her table said, and reached out to grab it. Normally, I would've smacked him, and then beat the crap out of him, but this was Julia. Anyway, before his fingers got close, Julia pulled out her air horn, and blasted it in the guys face. "AAAAGHHH!" He screamed, and clapped his hands over his ears.

I smirked. That was my girl. "HEY OCEAN!" Steve yelled. "WINGS ARE UP!" He handed me that basket, smirking. He had dubbed me "Ocean", because, if you think about it, Shelby = Shell = Ocean. Simple as pi. 3.14159… never mind.

"Thanks Tony." I grabbed the basket, and plopped it onto the man table, where I was met with whoops, hollers, and seconds later, demands for more beers because the wings were too spicy. "Haha, chumps." I laughed, and went to get more beers.

I heard the door chime, and called out a half-hearted "Welcome to Hooters!" over my shoulder. Upon further notice, I saw that it was Jason, Artie, Antonio, Arthur, Alfred, Ivan, Mattie, Francis, and Feli. And whoa, was that KAT AND LIZZIE? They sat a big table, and being the ninja that I am, I went over to serve them.

"Hello, and welcome to Hooters." I said, and scrawled my name on a napkin, and leaving it on the table. "Can I get you something to drink?" I asked, and glared at Lizzie and Kat.

"I'll have a whiskey. And may I say, those clothes make you look-" Artie started, but failed to finish, out of Lizzie. She smacked him with Les Miz. She glared at Francis and Antonio, who were eyeing my get-up hungrily.

"So, he'll have a whiskey, I'll have a Coke, she'll have a coke, he'll have a root beer, he'll have a coke, he'll have a coke, he'll have a whiskey, he'll have a vodka, he'll have beer, because I doubt you serve win here, and a basket of mild hot wings. Ok?" Lizzie ordered. I scratched that down onto my pad, and placed it into my pouch-thing.

"May I ask what you're doing here? I know you don't like Hooters anymore than I do, and you absolutely hate it." I glared at my friends.

"We came to laugh at you." Lizzie said as-a-matter-o-factly. My two friends then proceeded to laugh.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes, and brought the order to Steve. "HEY TONY! I NEED FOUR COKES, TWO WHISKEYS, A VODKA, AND A BEER!" I shouted.

"COMING RIGHT UP, OCEAN!" Tony shouted back. Oh well. I just hope Artie doesn't get too drunk…

**A/N: Well, there you go.**

**Artie: I thought you said I would have more spotlight you wench!**

**Me: You got hit with a book. And there will be more craziness when you get drunk. Happy?**

**Artie: Maybe…**

**Me: Oh well. REVIEW!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Shelby: And where have you been?**

**Me: Um… The bathroom? **

**Lizzie: For two months?**

**Me: Yes?**

**Jason: Why can't I have any booze?**

**Shelby: Dude, you're underage!**

**Jason: … So?**

**Me: Can we get on with it? And save the maiming of me for later? **

**Shelby: Fine.**

At the end of the day, I collected my pay from my boss, which was a shocking amount to what I thought I would get paid. Oh yeah, today's Friday…

"Hon, if you haven't noticed yet, you're pretty hot." She told me when I asked about it. It was kinda weird, coming from her, but it made me feel pretty good.

Now all I had to do now was drag Artie's drunken ass home. I mean, come on, he had one beer, and he was hammered. He thought that my truck was a pirate ship, and that everyone else was a random inanimate object. For example, he thought I was the figure head on the ship and called me "Miss Mermaid." Needless to say, he earned himself a crowbar shaped indent on his head.

The ride home was unbearable, because everyone else was drunk. Not as drunk as Artie, but still pretty drunk. My stupid boss even let Alfred, Feli, and my bro have some booze! I took the alcohol away from Jason, so it was all right for him.

"So, how was your first day?" Lizzie asked Julia and I teasingly. Julia had a pretty big haul for the day, even bigger than mine.

"It was okay." Julia stated. "Some drunk dude tried to grope me during a commercial for one of the football games."

"We heard." I replied sarcastically. Every time some dude had tried something, her air horn went off like a flare, blasting the poor sap's ears to pieces.

"So? I got paid. Apparently some dudes think that defense is sexy." She rebuttled.

"Whatever. I didn't have to take out Viviera, so that was good. I just left before they got any ideas, and snuck some medicine into their food." I shrugged.

"Isn't that, like, illegal or something?"

"Pretty sure, but those guys will thank me in the morning when their hangovers aren't as bad. Artie was a lost cause. And these guys drank enough beer to be drunk for at least three days. And poor Francis. He didn't see that hit coming…" I smirked, remembering Francis's crude attempt to be France with me. Unfortunately, he won't even remember it in the morning…

By the time we had finished discussing how awful it was to have the units drunk, because things didn't go so well, we had pulled into my driveway and drafted Ivan into carrying all the units too drunk to move inside to their proper sleeping places. That would be everyone except Jason, Julia, Lizzie, and I. Even Mattie and Feli had submitted to the alcohol's affects!

I kicked off my shoes, and trudged to my room, dreading the morning. _I don't want to deal with hangovers…_ I thought to myself before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

**A/N: Shelby: That's it?**

**Me: What? It's a short filler!**

**Lizzie: SO what happens next?**

**Me: … I don't know yet. Probably a trip to Best Buy, units having hangovers, Kat bursting in again to be awesome, a new unit…**

**Julia: Who is it?**

**Me: … I don't know. Maybe Prussia… Or Romano. Maybe Spain.**

**Shelby: … Wow. Do you have anything planned?**

**Me: No. But maybe I'll throw in a surprise visit from Shelby's secret crush when she goes back to work~**

**Shelby: You wouldn't dare…**

**Me: Review!**

**Shelby: Wai-**


	24. More about Shelby

**A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever! I was procrastinating and got a writers block… Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

After about a few months living with my units and Jason, I was properly adjusted to living with, well, all of them. I learned how to evade Francis's wandering hands, learned how to play dodgeball with Feli's pasta pots on occasion, and managed to keep my house from being burned down. Mostly from me.

I grabbed a coke from my fridge and wandered over to my living room, where I promptly plopped onto my couch and relaxed. Until everyone trooped downstairs, already acting wild and crazy.

"SHELBY, IVAN THREATENED ME AGAIN! AND IM BORED!" Alfred wailed.

"SHELBY, WE'RE OUT OF PASTA!" Feli cried.

"Ohonhonhonhon, miss Shelby~" Francis laughed.

"OI, WENCH! IM HUNGRY!" Artie shouted.

"THAT IT NO WAY TO GREET A LADY, YOU TWAT!? Arthur scolded his past self.

I groaned and slouched into my couch. "Go away." I mumbled, reaching over to the floor and grabbing a blanket. "I'm tired."

"BUT IVAN!"

"BUT PASTA!"

"BUT FOOD!"

I growled and lay the blanket over me, making sure my coke didn't spill. My units started shouting louder, vying for my attention, yelling out differently things that I apparently needed to get to. I growled a bit louder and ducked my head under the blanket, bunching it around myself so that I was a ball of Shelbiness. I kept ignoring them until I couldn't take it anymore.

"FINE!" I shot up, and gave everyone a dirty look. Feli backed up, but just about everyone else held their ground. I stomped back to the kitchen and threw a peanut butter sandwich together, which I chucked at Artie's face, splattering the peanut butter in the pirate's face. Next I went down to the pantry, where I grabbed a box of pasta and threw it at Feli, who dodged it and then scrambled to get it off the ground. Then I stormed to Ivan, and pointed a threatening finger at him. "Stop." I told him, then went back to my couch where my coke and blanket were waiting. "Now can I take a nap? They say it takes a village to raise a child, but this I just ridiculous!" I lay down and faced the back of the couch.

"I can see your problem." Arthur shrugged. "I've been dealing with them for years, and I'm not fully adjusted to it." I sat up and pointed my arms at Arthur while facing my other units.

"You see? Why can't you be more like him? He behaves! He's nice! He's not a psychopath! He eats semi-healthy! He has an impact on the world! He's mostly sane!" I emphasized. "Mattie too!"

"... Who?" My units frowned. I groaned.

"You know what? I give up. I'm officially done for the day. No one bug me!" I grabbed my coke and blanket and trudged to my room. The first thing I did was lock the door and push a chair under the knob. Second was to stick my headphones in and play my music up to 'brain-dead' volume. After that, I sat in my roll-y chair and pulled up to my computer.

After about four hours of sweet, loud music filled silence, I had successfully finished reading a few webcomics, such as Sandra and Woo, Gunnerkrigg Court, Gaia, and Buni, I flopped onto my bed and turned off the music. First thing that I heard after that was lots of noise coming out of my room.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" I demanded, and swung my door open. My units and brother looked at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look. From my point of view, they were all in their boxers, junk food, energy drinks, cards, and poker chips littered the floor, and the TV was showing a football game while music blared from a stereo.

"HE DID IT!" All the units pointed to each other with whatever they had in their hands. I turned to Mattie and Feli, who were the ones I trusted could give the right answer.

"Boys, who did it?" I asked sweetly.

"Um..." Mattie scratched the back of his neck, while looking behind me at the other units, who were probably glaring at him. I looked at the TV, which had a fairly reflective surface, and saw that I was right. So I turned to Feli.

"Feli, I'll show you where my secret pasta stash is if you tell me~" I promised.

"It was Jason! He suggested playing strip poker, then big brother France started taking his clothes off, and got both the Englands hyper off of a monster drink Jason and America gave them, and then Russia started scaring meeeeee! Oh, and France and England went through your laundry."

I glared at Francis and Artie, who were holding something behind their backs and whistling innocently.

"Señores, give me back my stuff before I pry it out of your cold dead hands." I threatened, pulling out Viviera.

"But we're not dead, lassie."

"That can be arranged~" I bowed my head slightly, and started chanting 'kolkolkol' under my breath while my scarlet aura showed up, dimming the lights and surrounding me in a ghostly red fire. "Now give me back what you took, Hm?" I asked sweetly, acting way too much like Ivan. Francis freaked out and tossed a bag at my feet, I smiled, and looked at Artie.

"Ye can't make me do anythin' lassie!" He protested. I simply smiled wider, and forced a glare onto the pirate. My chanting became louder, and my aura became stronger. "A-alright, fine!" He too tossed a bag at my feet. I picked both bags up, and my aura dissipated.

"And before any of you go anywhere, pick this mess up, put on some pants, and take a shower for gods sake! You all smell like Cheetos." I sighed.

"Heheh, IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" Jason shouted, and started doing a really bad dance to it that looked like a mix of Gangnam Style and the potty dance.

"YOU WISH!" I rolled my eyes and shut the door.

~Jason's POV~

"Your sister is too scary for her own good." Al shivered.

"She acts a lot like me. She will become one with Mother Russia, da?" Ivan giggled. I stared at the taller Russian.

"Dude, don't touch my sister or I will freaking end you." I glared.

"Then you become one with Mother Russia, da?" Ivan turned on me.

"No. I may look like my sister, but I am not my sister, so no, I will not 'become one' with you. Ask Kat." I scoffed.

"That's true, you do look a lot like Shelly. But you don't act like her." I looked at Alfred.

"You know that if she hears you say that, she's going to kill you faster than you can say 'supercalifragilisticexpialid ocious.'"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! What can she do? A chick can't hurt the hero!"

"I wouldn't bet my money on it." I grumbled.

"If you know so much about Shelby, do you know her worst fear?" Alfred challenged.

"Yes." I answered without missing a beat. "I won't tell you, though, as she would kill all of us." I smirked, thinking about Shelby's irrational fear of snakes. One time at the zoo when we were little, she refused to go anywhere near the reptile house, saying that the snakes would eat her. As a joke, I put a stick in her path and said it was a stick. She screamed bloody murder and ran away. When we got home, she kicked me where the sun don't shine.

"Her secrets?" Francis asked, interested.

"Yup. I know everything about her. But I won't tell them. She'd kill us all." My mind wandered to Shelby's equally weird fascination with shiny objects. She would've taken over the world if she wasn't distracted by something remotely shiny, from a fork to a metal pole.

"What music she likes?"

"As long as its loud, and has a good beat and story, she's good. Shelby mainly likes country music, since it's, and I quote, 'way better than all that other crap on the radio.'"

"Embarrassing moment?" Francis tried.

"Not telling that one." Her most embarrassing moment was when she mistook a straw wrapper for a snake, and screamed and ran away. In the middle of school. In front of everyone. Including her crush. She's over him, but in middle school, she did nothing but drool over him.

"Worst enemy?" Ivan asked.

"Some bitch that cyberbullied her best friend when she was 11. The girl went missing."

"Worst thing she ever did?" Artie asked.

"Um, I think she accidentally maimed someone..." I scratched the back of my neck. "A girl from my class, you know, the slutty kind? Tried hitting on Shelby, thinking that she was me. The chick pulled her shirt way down and got really close to her... Shelby snapped. Thankfully, the school didn't suspend her. It was once, plus everyone hated that other chick."

"Favorite food?" Feliciano asked

"Tie between pasta and chikerena soup." I shrugged. "When we were kids, she always tried to steal mine. Same goes for miso soup."

"What the hell is chikerena soup?" Arthur asked.

"Let me show you." I made my way over to the kitchen, and once there, reached into the pantry and retrieved a can of chikerena soup. "This is chikerena soup. That girl is obsessed with it, and if I do this," I opened the can and poured it into a pot Shelby kept on the stove. I set the heat on high and let it sit. Seconds later, Shelby's door was flung open, and she came running.

"SOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPSOUPMIII IIINE!" She screeched, diving into the kitchen and knocking me over to get to her soup.

"Oof, she does that..." I muttered.

"THANKSJASONYOU'REAWESOMESOOOOOOUP!" Shelby squealed, and took the pot of soup from the stove, grabbed a straw, and sucked the whole thing down in five seconds flat. Including the veggies and meat. How she does that, I'll never know...

After that, she went back to her room.

"How?" Artie deadpanned.

"I don't know..." I shook my head.

"So I guess it's back to watching football?" Alfred asked.

"I have a better idea." I smirked, and pulled my laptop from the table. I flipped it open, and on the screen was a video of Shelby from her school musical a few years ago, when she played a really pervy man in a play her English teacher wrote. It was hilarious, and Shelby broke down laughing right in the middle.

~Shelby's POV~

I growled, seeing the feed from Jason's laptop. I have the password, so I can connect to his laptop and see what he was doing.

I did the one thing any girl would do.

"JASON! FIRST YOU MAKE ME SOUP AND NOW YOU'RE SHOWING THAT?! WHERE'S YOUR DECENCY?!" I demanded.

"I DON'T HAVE ONE!" He cackled.

"IM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!" I shreiked, and started chasing him and my units around with my crowbar.

Ah, fun times~

**A/N: Chikerena soup is awesome. If you've never had it, EAT IT! EAT IT NOW!**

**Well, besides that, we learn a bit more about Shelby. Probably not important things, but we know she's always been violent. :)**

**REVIEW~**


	25. Finale

**A/N: Yes I'm alive. Shocking, isn't it? Well, here's your chapter. I'm ending it here, because I'm not going anywhere with this anymore. **

**So without further adieu, here it is. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

><p>Nearly a year had passed since I first got my units, and it was the best and worst year of my life. It was terrifying, fun, and made me the happiest and the maddest I had ever been. Okay, I'm just going to quote Charles Dickens to get my point across.<p>

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way."

Got the point? Good.

Anyway, it was only a few days until the anniversary of the day Feli got shipped to my house, and my life became crazy. So, Lizzie, Julia, Kat, heck, even Jason, and I were planning a small party. It had started as a Julia plan, something so random and crazy that I had to laugh from the sheer silliness. I joined in anyway, and apparently Lizzie and Kat were already onboard with this, they just needed my okay. It was quite touching really, since they _never _wait for my okay. I thought I would cry.

There was just one problem.

Two days before the anniversary, I got a letter in the mail from Flying Mint Bunny Corp., bearing news. It was not good news. I hesitantly opened the letter, and bit my tongue to keep from shouting out loud. According to the letter, my units would be taken away. Their policies had changed literally last week, and the maximum time an owner could have units, all of them, was a year. So the day of the party, I would lose my units. I read through it, and it explained that the reason behind this was that there had been just a few (read: about a hundred) too many deaths or serious injuries due to the units. I didn't believe any of it.

There was a PS on the letter, telling me that when they took my units, they would erase my memories, and the memories of anyone else who knew my units. I guess people had tried resisting to this. Also a PPS, stating that if anyone else knew, the units would be gone quicker than you could say, 'STOP!'

I dropped the letter, and placed a hand over my mouth, blinking back tears. How could they? My units were my friends, and I couldn't imagine life without them! But no, they just had to take them all away because of a few deaths! … Okay, that's actually a valid reason.

I wanted to tell someone, but I realized that I couldn't. Julia would start sobbing, and would most likely steal my units in the night and bring them to the underground bunker she's always jabbering on about. Kat would go on a killing spree, Jason would help her (he had gotten attached to his new guy friends), and Lizzie would plan the demise of the corporation. Lame reasons, but this would break all of their hearts, and I definitely couldn't let everyone know. There would be too much… tears. I can't handle tears. Besides, they guys would be gone even faster.

I sniffed, dabbing my wet eyes on my sleeve, and crumpled up the letter. I made my way to the bathroom and pulled out a match. I quickly lit up the paper, and tossed it into the toilet when it had burnt a considerable amount. No one could know.

Trudging back to my room, I thought about each of the friends I had made in my units. Feli, bubbly as all hell and an amazing chef. Alfred, the hero and the optimist. Mattie, the shy guy with a grizzly bear hidden under his personality. Arthur, the only normal one and a worse chef than me. Ivan, the giant teddy bear hidden under… I dunno. Francis, a nice guy once you got past the whole 'pervert' thing. Artie, the idiot pirate who… I got nothing. And Antonio, the stupid conquistador who doesn't know when to quit. They had all wormed their way into my heart, and weren't going anywhere any time soon.

Dear Lord, I was going to have a rough day later…

* * *

><p>The day of the mini party, I put on a brave face. In the kitchen, Lizzie and Julia were arguing over the best way to make a cake. Julia's argument being to throw everything tasty in, and Lizzie's being to follow the directions exactly.<p>

"To Internet Exlorer with the directions!" Julia protested.

"We need to follow them to get it right!" Lizzie pointed out.

"So?!"

"So, I don't want to be eating shit!"

"GASP! HOW DARE YOU?!"

"GUYS! JUST BUY A CAKE FOR THE LOVE OF TUMBLR!" Kat shouted.

"NO!" Julia and Lizzie replied. I couldn't help it. So I broke down laughing.

"SHELBY! Tell Liz that MY way is right!"

"No, MINE!"

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

"MI-"

"Kat's right. We're buying a cake." I said.

"SEE- wait, what?" Everyone turned to me.

"HA I'M RIGHT! IN YO FACES!"

"But Shelly…" Julia gave me puppy eyes.

"Nope. We go buy."

"Aw…"

* * *

><p>"SURPRISE!" We all shouted when we let everyone downstairs, and Julia blew on one of those kazoo things.<p>

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She shouted.

"What is this?" Antonio asked, attempting English.

"Es una fiesta!" I replied.

"Why?"

"Because it's been a year since you crazy knuckleheads came into my life." I smiled, trying not to let anyone see the sadness in my eyes.

"WE BOUGHT A CAKE!" Julia declared. "WE WANTED TO MAKE IT, BUT NOOOOO!"

"SHUT UP!"

"MAKE MEH!"

"NO!"

"GUYS!"

DING! COOKIE! DING! COOKIE!

I froze.

DING! COOKIE! DING! COOKIE!

My eyes travelled to the door.

"I'll get it!" Feli volunteered, and skipped to the door.

"Feli no-"

The door burst open. Everyone screamed as a troop of men in black suits barreled through the doorway. One scooped up Feli, and they started to gather up the other units. Ivan knocked one unconscious, but another one pulled out a remote control looking device, and flipped a switch. We all froze, like robots. The man put it away, and the other men in black carried them away.

One turned to me and bowed, dark sunglasses shielding his eyes from my vision. "Pleasure doing business with you, Miss Venitzo." That voice…

"NATHAN?!" I demanded once I found the will to speak.

"Sorry about this, but you won't remember a thing when you wake up." He reached into his coat pocket and removed a small metal ball from it. Nathan pressed a button on it, and threw the now beeping device to the floor. He and his buddies left my house, units in tow, and as soon as the door shut, we could move again.

"HIT THE DECK!" Jason called when the beeping stopped. A cloud of green gas erupted, and my eyes got extremely heavy.

"I'm… sleepy…" Julia yawned and collapsed. I felt myself falling, and was out before my head reached the floor.

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes and groaned.<p>

"What the hell..?" I heard Kat mumble. What was Kat doing here?

"Where am I?" Jason asked. What was he doing here? I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and surveyed my friends lying on the floor.

"What in the actual hell is going on?" I asked.

"I don't know." Julia sat up and scratched her head. "I better get home."

"Yeah, me too." Lizzie agreed, and Kat nodded. They all left, and I stood up and stretched.

"Groan…" I muttered, and went to my room. "This lady needs some computer time." I mused, and turned on my computer. As soon as I opened the browser, a pop-up opened, advertising a company called Flying Mint Bunny Co. They were trying to sell me Hetalia units. I had no idea what those were, but for some reason, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "Well… Why not?" I asked myself, and clicked the 'okay' button.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'M DONE!**

**Thank you to all those people who have stuck with this story since the beginning. This was my first story, and I'm kinda glad to finish it. An accomplishment, you know? **

**I LOVE YOU ALL! YOU ARE AMAZING! **

**~DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympians**


	26. Sequel Information

**A/N: Oh, hello there again. I have some information for you regarding the sequel for Units and Manuals.**

**It will not be written by me, it is written by seikatsu-chan and myself, posted on her profile page. Actually, it's been up since before I even thought about ending UaM. We just thought, 'hey, why don't we make this fic the sequel because it's got all the same characters and has no Shelby units, so why not make it the sequel?'**

**So please read that if you're one of the ones who have been wanting a sequel.**

**And another note about seikatsu-chan's fic, 'Year of the Units' (that's what it's called), it's also the prequel to a fic we've been thinking about for a while, called ADIPA. Draw your own conclusions. :)**

**~DoctorwhotaliaandtheOlympians**


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